American as Wok and Eggroll

Korea. Do you need to press the bell?

2011-01-01T16:00:00.004+08:00

There's a chance that I am slightly behind on the blogging. I went to Korea in early November 2010. Katy and Mae sent me off at the Airport Express station. What stellar people! They crew just about every show in HK. Katy and I have poem challenges. They hid behind a column to startle me as I entered the station, but when they jumped out, they actually scared a middle-aged man, who cowered into his leather jacket and didn't emerge until he was out of sight. Here they are, blurry, in the center, as I left on the train: I almost didn't get out of Hong Kong, though. The immigration people caught me and questioned why I had overstayed my allowed time on my visa. I didn't think that "well, there's this show called Rocky, and I really wanted to do that, so...I stayed" would fly with the genial immigration staff, so I just kind of mumbled something about I thought I was fine. Eventually, I got through, but I had to extend my visa and mark the "spinster" box under marital status one last time. Made my flight to Seoul with 2 minutes to spare. At last, Korea. On the customs declaration form, I had to verify that I would not be taking my bear gall into the country. You'd think with a downer like that, it'd be hard to bounce back, but I did.My first night, I unloaded at the hostel and set out to explore my neighborhood. I found a great cafe where I ate authentic Korean spaghetti with Hah Ro and Jin Woo. It's ok because it was a fusion of Korean noodles and Ragu. Also, when Hah Ro was helping me read the menu, I thought he said "spicy" not "spaghetti." I returned to the hostel around 1am, so the next day was a bit of a late start to go to Masan. En route to Masan, the bus stopped at a rest area. As I always do, I used the facilities and took note. The most glaring difference between Korean and American restrooms is the presence in the former of an Etiquette Bell. I did not press it, for fear of a mistranslation that would call a SWAT Team. So in Masan, when I met Margaret for a salad topped with vanilla ice cream. I asked her about the Etiquette Bell. "Oh, yeah. When you gotta take a really big dump, you press the button and this really loud fake flushing sound happens so no one else can hear you." Brilliant, I say. Just brilliant. And only in Asia. Americans tend to be proud of their bodily functions--or maybe that's just South Dakotans. Who lived in Hanson Hall. So yes, I met Margaret, a friend from high school, in Masan. I stayed with her and her husband, Graeme, for a couple nights. We talked about living in Asia, ancient civilizations, and alien invasions. One night, after they finished work, we all took a bus to Chongwon, the "Seoul of the South" for dinner and talking to westerners. I commented to Margaret that the transportation is cheap--only $1 for a 45 minute bus to Chongwon. "Yeah...although you could pay for it with your life, so it depends on your perspective." I took another bus, the next day, to Daegu, to visit Kristine, a friend from college, and her boyfriend, Cyphar. Despite the mayhem of maneuvering through an Asian mall to reach her, at last we crossed on an escalator and all was well in the world again. We walked around the city

and I introduced them to the wonder of the tofu donut. We ate Mexican at a place called The Holy Grill (I love a good pun) and stayed for a good 3 hours until we parted ways at the station. I don't look like a 3rd wheel AT ALL in that photo. wow. I took the train back to Seoul and stayed at the same hostel, because the owner, Min, had so generously let me store my Suitcase of Things for Caitlin in Mongolia in a corner in his house. And that's KOREA...PART ONE. Stay tuned for PART TWO, which involves kimchi, forts, fake mustaches, and most of all JUNO!!

It's Astounding...Time is Fleeting

2010-11-05T15:35:00.006+08:00

My final days in Hong Kong were filled with Rocky Horror joy, 2 great visitors, a Breast Cancer Foundation fundraiser, and a farewell BBQ at Rob and Micha's remarkable flat in Sai Kung. I was so consumed with the joy of everything that I forgot to take photos, but there are about 10 million photos of Rocky that I can steal from other people, so I'll do my best to post them here.

Currently, I've left Hong Kong, but I'll continue to use this blog to chronicle my trip around the world for the next 5 weeks. I'll shoot for a post every 2-3 days...but let's not get our hopes too high.

Let's begin with Steven Varble's visit! We had not much time, but we dim sumed, Cheung Chaued, and Ocean Parked. And now, a series of panda photos:

The Red Panda isn't nearly as cute, but it can wave:

Sometimes, Steven will draw a Panda:

Or take a picture with a Panda::

Sometimes, I will take a picture with a Panda:

What a Pair 2 was a raging success; we actually ran out of raffle tickets. I sang with Bethan, Arvin (of radio interview fame), and Matthew:

Rocky, Rocky, Rocky...

Just One More Chicken Foot...

2010-10-22T16:53:00.001+08:00

The synaguards have started flirting with me. But other than that, not much else to report from the last month. Lies! I've been studying ratios and $10,000 words for the GRE. I think I take it tomorrow, but I haven't been emailed the time and location thereof. That, plus the possibility of an epically proportioned typhoon hitting HK this weekend may seriously hinder whether or not I take the test.

This is not a tragedy in my life. Grad school is not happening this year (I don't think...) So if the typhoon hits, I'll just get my $200 back and be able to buy many sandwiches in Korea to take to Caitlin in Mongolia. That's my plan: 2 more weeks in Hong Kong (doing Rocky Horror, eating as much mango curry as possible, and crying at the thought of leaving), 1 week in South Korea, 1 week in Mongolia, 1 week in Ireland, 2 weeks in Europe, a few days in NYC, a few days in Illinois, then South Dakota for a couple weeks. After that, I might get a job and try to make a difference in the world.

This weekend, I'll be performing in a charity show for the Hong Kong Breast Cancer Foundation. Apparently, Kate Winslet was going to go, but she's been uninvited due to worries of aggressive reporters. She's in town for the Steven Soderbergh viral movie that they won't let me be in.

If you have 10 minutes to kill, listen to a radio interview in which I was introduced as Karen Carpenter and sang a duet with the incredibly talented Arvin Robles:

Thailand. Or, Hey Superwoman, tuk tuk for you?

2010-09-27T14:25:00.015+08:00

2 1/2 days in Bangkok.
I arrived in the early evening, so by the time I got a bus into the city and unloaded at my exquisite hostel, there were few civilized hours left in the day (stretching the imagination to assume any hour in Bangkok is civilized).

So I went out...got a bit lost--not sure why:

I serendipitously came across a Thai pop concert.
I was so excited, I ate a mango. Right next to the concert, there was a night market! I've never been to an Asian market before, so I was elated. Many things "hand made" and it turns out I was the first customer at almost every booth, so I got a special price. Bought grandma's magnet, got a foot massage for about $3, wandered aimlessly and took a tuk-tuk home, though I had to insist, repeatedly, I did not want to go to a ping-pong show. Mom and Dad, never ask me what that is.

Next morning, I met my roommates: a German girl and a British girl. The British girl gave me a jar of peanut butter. I think it must be an offering of friendship in her culture. Or maybe it was something about she was leaving the next day and couldn't take it. She was also an English major, so we talked nerd then parted ways for the day.

I went to the Royal Neighborhood via a "long boat." It's like a boat that's really long. There's a guy who works on the boat, much like the Star Ferry rope guys, only he has to ride on the long boat. He does not, apparently, need to help me jump the substantial gap between the boat and the pier.

First stop: Golden Mount, though nearly missed. I got off the long boat, as encouraged by the boat guy, and looked for the closest shiny spire. As I walked towards it, a nice man stopped me to let me know that this site is closed. Only open to Thai people to pray. Oh, dang.
BUT, he is able to take me, via tuk tuk, to the Lucky Buddha. It was actually the luckiest day of my life, because the Lucky Buddha is open only one day per year and get this, it was that very day. Oh fortune!
Then my college skill of skepticism kicked in. Also, on the plane ride, I read in Lonely Planet that you should never believe people who say a site is closed. They are lying. They want charge you astronomically for a ride to another place, that I'm sure other guys are telling other tourists is closed.
So after a genial conversation, I told him I'd go ahead and check it out myself. He told me to suit myself. Five steps closer to the Golden Mount and yet another concerned citizen crossed his arms in a X and shook them in my face. I said I was just walking and went on and up to the Golden Mount, which was of course open and free admission. The Golden Mount, so called for being on a mount and colored gold.

And having a gold satellite dish:
Another family was there and excited to take a picture with me.
I wandered through the streets, pretending to know exactly where I was going, or else subject myself to the offers of more tuk tuk drivers. I find that these "semi-lost" moments produce the most authentic essence of a place. Like roosters under baskets and door stores:
Along the way, there was a street food vendor. I looked at the food. "What is it?" Answer: "It is good." I ate it and agreed. I thought I was walking to the Royal Palace, but I eventually realized I wasn't, so I found a taxi.

I told him to go to the Royal Palace. He started the meter and said he didn't know the Royal Palace. I tried to explain it's the most popular tourist site in Bangkok, but he insisted he'd never heard of it as he fumbled around with the map. It'd be like an NYC cab driver not knowing where the Empire State Building is. My guard against scam was way up by this point, so I opened the door and jumped out of the moving taxi. It was moving really slowly--it may have even been at a stop light, but it still felt theatric. I found another cab and got to the Royal Palace, no problem.
Royal Palace: big, shiny, colorful, majestic.

And they have guards with pointy hats. And elephant bushes:

I spent a lot of time there, admiring the regalia and weapons collection. I wasn't allowed to take photos, but they had tridents! My favorite historical weapon.

I walked along a street and saw a parking lot for witches:

I purposefully went to the National Theatre to see if I could attend a performance. Nothing on during my days there, but that didn't stop me from inviting myself to a rehearsal for a traditional dance performance.
Somehow, I was someplace where I didn't want to be and I couldn't go back because I just shook off an insistent pesterer. So I hopped on a bus. Mistake. Apparently, in Bangkok, you have to know where you're going to be on a bus. I got on just fine, then an official woman with a money belt approached me and asked where I was going. My answer of "anywhere" was unacceptable. My next answer of "not back there" was declined with equal if not greater disdain. Another passenger said the bus was going to the airport, so I jumped out at the next stop. I walked a little way and found a cool street: vendors, hippies, dreadlock salons, etc.
I spot this woman:

She makes AMAZING pad thai for me and lets me sit on her stool to eat (I may have seemed a bit edgy from the bus experience). Other patrons arrived, including a Cantonese speaker, so...instant friend. I asked them where we were and learned I was on Kao Shan Road--the main backpacker drag. Explains all the weed shirts and internet cafes.

Then to Wat Pho to see the famous Emerald Buddha. Every season (summer, winter, dry, rainy) the King, or more recently the Crown Prince, dresses the Emerald Buddha in seasonal attire. It's kind of like the woman on everyone's street who has a goose she likes to dress up for each holiday.

Nighttime, in my wanderings, I find another theatre and--what luck!--they had a traditional Thai dance performance that night. I bought a ticket and killed an hour by walking around the park. It was more like an exercise park. The paths were really running tracks, there was a huge group dance aerobics on, actual gym equipmentand these dudes, all over 60, playing hacky sack:
I ate something else from this guy:
The show was colorful! It was about...um...a monkey. I think. It was hard to tell. But they all had great costumes, and before the show began, everyone stood for the National Anthem and images of the King were projected on a giant screen. Got back to the hostel very late, but early enough for the people at the front desk to write my name in Thai for me. It's pronounced "Camber."

Day 3 began with a short walk to the Jim Thompson House. I went here because Jim Thompson's story is shrouded in mystery, and I love all things mysterious and shrouded. He was an American silk magnate who lived for several years in Thailand, completely immersed in the culture, language, and industry. He mysteriously disappeared while on a walk through a jungle in Malaysia. One year later, on the exact same day, his sister was murdered in Delaware. No photos allowed in the house, so a lame shot from the outside:

Then I went to a Snake Farm and watched them milk a snake. I won't post pictures for the sake of my mom. Basically, they force the snake to bite something and squeeze the venom into a jar. They later inject it into a cow and get an anti-venom from it.

Next stop, lunch at the Delicious Delicious Kitchen. It lived up to its name and had a nice view:

The rest of the afternoon was wandering through various neighborhoods and getting a Thai massage. I returned to the hostel early and was up at 5 the next morning for my flight. When I got back to Hong Kong, I immediately went to a 4-hour dance rehearsal for Rocky Horror. I was intensely sore for 3 days, the cause of which is yet undetermined: 4 hours of Time Warping or an hour-long session of getting stepped on and bent into several pretzel formations by a surprisingly strong Thai woman.
And now, more pictures:

If my mom was Thai:Creepy Ronald:
If Abe Lincoln was a Thai Statue:...more like a monumental Fred Astaire.
For The Mother:

1 Wedding. 94,273 Pictures.

2010-09-08T09:38:00.015+08:00

I can't do justice in a blog for the experience of attending a wedding in mainland China.
I made the trip to Shanwei, China, with 4 people I didn't know. Shanwei is a 3 hour bus ride from Shenzhen, the Chinese city bordering HK. I labeled this map myself:

First thing of note I saw was in Shenzhen; an ad featuring a lookalike of my dad:
With my propensity for requiring hospitals in China, I was happy to see there was one in Shanwei:

As long as I don't have a nose problem, all will be well.

We arrived in Shanwei, but were apparently still a long way from our destination, so we stuffed ourselves in 2 tuk-tuks to complete the journey. my POV:
We arrived at someone's village house. Windows and doors are perpetually open. People and chickens move about so freely that I never knew who lived where, who was married to whom, and which kids went with which adults. They gave us a nice lunch:
and they had nunchucks:

I asked why they had nunchucks. Answer: Chinese Kung Fu. Duh.
Then I asked where my friend Vincent the groom was. Answer: "He is making himself handsome." As you do. We had a few hours before the wedding festivities, so some people took me around the village:

Most people in the village had never seen a white person before, so I unintentionally caused what might be called a "stir." Old women were especially not shy about grabbing my arms, kneading them like bread and admiringly commenting on my pale skin. I tried to say that in the US, most people don't think being pale is cool, but it was completely lost. Most things I tried to say were completely lost. Shanwei is a Mandarin-speaking village. Very little Cantonese and definitely no English. At all. I was confused about 97% of my 2 days there. Kids showed interest as well. One kid said "thank you very much" to me--several times--despite the fact that I had done nothing to prompt thankfulness.

The bride and groom surprisingly appeared at the village house. (when you can't understand what anyone is saying, everything is a surprise). This was round one of photographs. The groom also gave me an invitation to the wedding. The calligrapher was unaccustomed to writing Roman script, so I was "Camber Carptern": They still let me in--and I'm keeping that invitation forever.
Off to the ceremony site. Kids came running to check out our decked-out rides:

When we arrived, I thought I would go inside to sit and wait, but surprise--I was given a red ribbon. I thought my brownies had won 2nd place at the county fair. Not so. I was on the staff. Not the serving staff (though the thought appealed to me that I might only serve the fish eyes rather than eat them), but the greeting staff. After all guests were properly greeted and seated, they set off a tower of pyrotechnics in a field across the street. The greeters had been given a device to activate upon the announcement of the entrance of the bride and groom. I thought it was a party popper, but it was in fact a sort of firecracker, dispensing sparks, smoke, and more glitter than a Mariah Carey concert. Surprise.

The ceremony nearly ended before I knew it happened because the officiate was an unlikely candidate and I of course had no idea what she was saying:
She had a shiny dress and a used-car salesman voice. She doubled as vocalist during the meal. The ceremony: The bride magically changed her costume: She did this before the couple went around to drink with each table. When everyone lifted a glass of what looked like Jasmine tea, I did the same. It was not Jasmine tea. Is there such a thing as 100 proof alcohol? I forgot how to blink and couldn't speak for about 3 minutes, but no one noticed because all I could say in Mandarin was "Hello," "Thank you" and "I am an American." Those things had all been previously established.

I got the bridal bouquet! Typically, I stand aloof when the bride tosses the bouquet; but this bouquet was thrust upon me, along with the commission that I find a husband within the year or I will shame their families and doom their marriage. When I told the groom that I don't even technically have a boyfriend, his expression changed from benevolent hopefullness to abject terror and said, "You must try harder! You must!" It's on my to-do list, now, along with my family's 2009 Christmas Letter and applying to grad school.

Experience of a lifetime--really, so much more to tell, like the guy in the wife-beater who watched me dry my hair for 15 minutes--but I can't waste another hour if I'm ever to find a husband in the requisite time frame.

The Answer is Always "Monkey"

2010-08-29T22:33:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I auditioned several dozen children-type people for theatre shows. To start, I just ask questions about what they like to do--makes them feel non-threatened while I assess their English level.
I've had some interesting experiences doing this: a kid who cried on his mom's lap every time I asked him his age. A girl who, although I suggested she could sing "Happy Birthday" or "Twinkle, Twinkle," replied, "I will sing the Chinese national anthem." And so she did--in its entirety.
Yesterday, I had Queenie, age 4.

me: So, Queenie, what do you like to do at school?
Q: Monkey.
me: Oh! Do you have a game called 'Monkey'?
Q: yes
me: That's great. Do you play any sports?
Q: yes
me: What sport do you play?
Q: Monkey.
me: Oh...okay. Do you like music?
Q: yes
me: Do you play an instrument?
Q: Monkey.

So, when in doubt...Monkey.
I've been rubbish at blogging of late, as you can see as I tell tales of toddlers. Also, I can't find the cord that connects my camera to my computer, so I can't post recent photos of a hike where I saw many monkeys. Serendipitous coincidence defines my life.

I know I'm not supposed to talk of future events on the internet, in order to discourage predators, but in an effort to keep my blog readers waiting in anticipation for something worth reading: Soon, I will go to China for my friend's wedding. Although in recently past months, we had gone to movies and dinners and the like, he sent me a facebook message to the tune of: "Camber--I will marry on [insert date]. I invite you to go to my wedding." Right on. I have a hunch it's an arranged marriage of some sort and I am the token caucasian. My flatmate has warned me that I'm going to have to eat some disgusting things, so I plan to stock up on granola bars before I go.
I'm charging my camera battery now, so bate your breath for a pictoral review of being a foreigner at a Chinese wedding of an arranged marriage! I have no idea what to wear.

This is my Hatin' on the Kong Blog. I'll get over it.

2010-08-12T17:18:00.002+08:00

I sold a painting. In my quest to relinquish myself of all extraneous possessions and live like a nomadic Gandhi, I posted several items for sale on a site for expats in Hong Kong. I sold my DVD player and space heater to an Indian family. I'll take my toaster to someone tomorrow. My tennis racket and hair dryer are still on the market. I even received several offers for dates from these ads (though that was not the intent)--due to the hilarious descriptions I posted along with the photos. I turned them all down.

As a joke, I also put my first and only painting up for sale. It was sold in less than 15 minutes to a handsome Chinese man with a British accent. He brought along a pen with which he urged me to sign the piece. I polled my friends on facebook to decide whether he really thinks I'm the next Picasso (for he said so) or if he's trying to steal my identity. I think identity theft won out, citing the "special pen" he brought, from which he will definitely lift my finger prints.

Other than being a famous artist, life has remained a steady flow of teaching classes, rehearsing for Rocky, and training for the 5K race. I can't run the 5K race anymore, due to work, which I did not know about until after I had already signed up and paid for the race. I'm more than ready to be free from these tethers of non-communication.

I'm actually more than ready to leave Hong Kong; mostly because of the air pollution, the slow walkers, the smokers, and the lack of sarcasm comprehension. I'll miss the curry, though. And the sushi.

Hola, Hong Kong

2010-07-27T15:59:00.004+08:00

Alert blog readers will easily recall Rita, my friend from Spain, currently living in Beijing. She once again visited Hong Kong, but this time with her mom, Rita. Two Ritas are even better than one.
Mama Rita is loca, in the best way possible. She also was the object of attention
from all the men in Hong Kong.

We toured around Hong Kong on my day off and met for dinner and disgusting dessert on days I worked.
I don't know the precise contents of these photos, but I know that in at least one, you can see my red, now fading to pink hair.
You'll also notice the higher quality of photos, thanks to Rita 2.0 and her equipment and talent. My camera's battery has been dead for a month.

My fellow Americans

2010-07-21T08:54:00.007+08:00

I went to the US Consulate yesterday to add pages to my passport. I love the US Consulate for all the right reasons. I'll probably elope there if I ever find an unmarried straight man who appreciates sarcasm, has a thorough knowledge of "Seinfeld," and showers daily. But that's like trying to find a unicorn in the New York subway--a Hindu in the Vatican--a liberal in western South Dakota. (You get points for more examples)

Anyway, the Consulate. They confiscated my deodorant, sunscreen, and mobile phone, but those are extravagances. I'm trying to live more like Ghandi these days anyway. It's going pretty well. I walk everywhere, even if it takes 2 hours. I don't eat much unclean meat, but I guess that's more like Abraham than Ghandi. And I'm learning Spanish.

I had my final show for work last weekend--a fabulous Penguin show at the Library. I know it was fabulous because only one child struck me.

Now I am covering classes for an absent teacher. It's grand. I get to be Miss Camber again...Miss Camber is my alter-ego. She cares deeply about children and wants them to succeed in life. One precocious brat of a student called her "counter-intuitive" the other day. Miss Camber does not dwell on impossible insults.

Back track to "Lysistrata"--we performed this oldest comedy ever written as a charity to raise scholarship money for students to attend classes at the studio. Directed by the lovely and talented Meaghan McGurgan, the production--despite every obstacle possible, went off well.

I'm wearing a mask, which I'm sure my sister would say is a better look for me and I should consider wearing one at all times.

I moved away from the Bedazzler! No more reverse thongs for me...I mean, for me to see on her. I don't really want to say where I live now, for fear of a weird guy, but I'll say it's close to a synagogue. There are guards outside of it at all times. I call them synaguards. No one else thinks that's as funny as I do.

I'm living in the best possible situation. Currently alone and "house sitting" while my friend Kath visits her 92-year-old grandma in Manchester. When she returns, we'll be flatmates for a couple of months before I leave Hong Kong in November. She doesn't want me to pay rent. I'm so thankful for this boon! She just wants to do something nice and I am the fortunate beneficiary.

I dyed half of my hair a really trailer-trashy red-pink. It's the bottom half, so I can still sort of convince people to take me seriously.

To celebrate America, Lindsey, her mom, and I hiked 4-hours in high 90s temps on Lamma Island.
Lamma scene:

In a semi-deserted village:
A bit of the daily for The, Dad:

And a rain-filled light bulb:

This is a Kamikaze grotto. The Japanese constructed these caves to store speedboats and other equipment for an attack on the Allied forces. The War ended before they finished, so they were never used:

Also, I finally went to the Central Post Office and saw this stamp mosaic. Totally worth it:

China and South Dakota. same same.

2010-06-30T19:13:00.008+08:00

Let's not dwell too long on how utterly outrageous my blog hiatus was. I've been out of control.
Taking it back a bit: in May, the TIE team made a historic trip to Guangzhou, China.
With 6 shows in 2 days, we spent most of our time illegally trapped inside a Red Army building (our venue). Foreigners and photographs aren't allowed inside, so let's not complain I don't have photos of the giant Communist star we removed from the stage and just be happy I'm not in a Chinese prison.

Between shows, Lindsey and I ventured into Martyr's Park--described as "very peaceful." Clearly:

Nothing says 'peace' quite like a giant gun rising from the earth.

So, what stop should we get off at?:

Don't know why, but I think of my dad when I think about peasant revolts and the rise of the proletariat.

Imitation Mickey Mouses should always get decapitated:

Cheese Fun:

I think I asked Lindsey to attempt to encapsulate both cheese and fun into her face.
Safety 13th:

Back in the park, kids with swords:
Me, with Penguin hair, on a lamp:
Inside the underground malls, there are DJs, of course. They're spinnin' tunes in glass cages all day and night:
Getting serious at the arcade:
Costume change:
Someone was actually playing, so I couldn't hold the gun.
I really wanted to eat here, but was inexplicably vetoed:
The Pearl River:
An army-glorifying ballet:
At one show, a little boy said to me (or rather, to Pipi the Penguin) in one breath: "Hello how are you nice to meet you see you tomorrow."

I went to South Dakota for wedding mania!
First, the wedding of Jenna Hardy, a friend from high school band camp and SDSU--also met several times when we lived on the east coast.
The beautiful bride and I:
A guy at the wedding wore really tight jeans. My new friend Thoa and I inconspicuously took a photo:
My family held a picnic party to celebrate my return, much like the prodigal son. It was amazing! We didn't kill the fatted calf, but we had KFC, which is even better.

I chased my cousins around the park. They managed to get us to stand still long enough for this photo:
Throughout the week, I hung out with Grandma, visited friends, etc....then drove up to Aberdeen for wedding #2: Jessica McQuillen. I was honored to be a bridesmaid:
Two of my favorite people, Nikki and Dallas:

I dance dramatically:

So ends the tale for now. Jacksonvillians may look out for a Source article in the near future.
next blog: Lysistrata and the big MOVE out of the Bedazzler's Lair...

Devon and Jeff get Hong Konged

2010-06-01T11:19:00.009+08:00

As Devon and Jeff have stopped blogging about their amazing time in The Kong, I will now take it upon myself to reconstruct, briefly, their time here.
It started out really bad for them. Mostly because I'm not a good tour guide and I had to work for the first few days they were here. My poor guiding skills mixed with Devon's desire for a detailed itinerary is a recipe for...for something.
Still, they were kind enough to meet me and some work friends for Dim Sum:
I don't remember when that was--this all went down in April. Today is June. I can't even remember what I did last week. So, in that case, I think I'll just post a bunch of photos that don't make me look too fat or ugly.
This guy was driving the boat with his foot until I asked if I could take a picture:

We went to a Kung Fu demo and thought this looked like a Chinese version of Tyler:

By my tour guiding skills, which rely on serendipity, we ended up discovering a boat from Stanley to Po Toi, an island with ferry service only 2 days a week or something. It apparently hasn't changed since Medieval times and has its own theme song. I loved this island!

This one reminds me of my dad:

Another highlight was The Noon Day Gun--a shot fired every day at noon by our good friend, this guy:

That was him showing us the golden bullet.
Now, he checks his watch. It must be high noon for the Noon Day Gun:

And he rings a bell, too:

I'm sure we did more while they were here, but I must not have had my camera on me. Or something.
Tales of Guangzhou, China, next up. It may or may not include illegal entry into a Red Army building.

Pictoral Venice in HK

2010-05-17T15:33:00.003+08:00

Hey, loading the photos worked.

Venetian Twins--I particularly enjoyed the giant back-lit poster with my picture on it. Over one week later, it's still up and I'm feeling the effects:
Just the other day, I was sitting in Pacific Coffee, wearing a tie vest, and reading near my friend Shirley. I had this dazzling book, The Razor's Edge, by Somerset Maugham. During the course of our reading time, 3 different people came in and waved at me. Don't pretend you're not impressed.

Venetian Twins

2010-05-15T21:17:00.004+08:00

I'm probably slowly losing my readership as I continuously forget to post anything about my glamorous life.
Also, as I have many important things to do other than blog, the quality of the posts has declined in recent months. It's just a phase, I'm sure. I'll grow out of it just like I grew out of hot pink and jazz hands. Oh, wait...

I'd like to state that Devon and Jeff came here, yes, and that week will be documented in due course. It's like preparing to tackle a thesis or something, I can't get started. Truth be told, I must read about 100 more pages of a so-far rather dull book in time for our dorky weekly quasi-family discussion. Therefore, I would like to simply picture dump from my latest smash hit, "The Venetian Twins." It was a frenetic and wacky Australian musical of mistaken identity. I played Columbina, the hussy maid to the whiny mistress. WILD! A radio interview I half did can be found online somewhere.
Unnnnnfortunately, I am currently unable to post any photos on blogger. Technical issues, I suppose.
Facebook users can see a few, though I deleted some because that dress was just not fair. Whoever thought it was a good idea to add stuffing to the waist, hips, and butt of a dress and smash the bosom should be fired.

Pathetically Bored? Read This Blog.

2010-05-02T21:15:00.007+08:00

Recently past and near future events defy description. Devon and Jeff visited (a substantial blog to follow at some point when I'm not so occupied with many important things). I've auditioned to be a cartoony voice for Vtech educational toys. The next play, "The Venetian Twins"--a frenetic and wacky Australian musical about twins--two of them, and mistaken identity, goes up this week. It's been an interesting experience. Suffice to say, the central conflict in my life right now is attempting to make my bosom appear large in a Medieval dress. Sounds like a joke, I know, but today the director asked me, "Did you find any sort of push-up bra?" and I sadly responded, "This IS a push-up bra." He laughed and apologized.

I had planned a trip to The Philippines for May (to celebrate Buddha's birthday, of course), but now I will be going to Guangzhou in China to perform the Penguin show--thrice! I need to move my trip to another time, which might be ok, since apparently there's a radical group causing violent trouble in the region of the Philippines where I'd be going. I can't really take this group seriously, though, as their acronym in MILF. Mom and Dad, if you don't know what MILF means, just ask Devon.

I made a very brief trip back to South Dakota last weekend to be with my family for my grandpa's funeral. A sad time, but good to gather with the family and share memories. In June, I'll visit SD again for 2 weddings and carting my grandma around Wal-Mart.

Post-HK is up in the air still. I'll know more after learning the results of some upcoming auditions (even one for Hong Kong Disneyland, Steven!). It's looking like I'll still be here through mid-December, no matter what.

Also, Jacksonvillians, look out for a Source article either this week or next.

Welcome to Beijing. Rickshaw?

2010-04-08T16:10:00.010+08:00

I traveled to Beijing with my friend David, who I met at a grocery store a couple months after I first moved to Hong Kong. Another friend, Rita, met us at the airport and helped us get a taxi to our hotel. Staying in a hotel rather than a hostel was a new experience in itself. I didn’t have to lock up my valuables or worry about stepping on Damien from Sweden on the descent from the top bunk.
Beijing Day One was FREEZING. So windy and freezing, David had to buy a local-style silken jacket. It changed colors in the light:

After the acquisition of the Technicolor dreamcoat, the three of us went to Beijing-style hotpot, similar to Hong Kong-style hotpot, but with taller chimneys and more yelling:

From there, we walked to Tiananmen Square

where Rita left us to our own devices. We marveled at the Square, though David heretically called it a rectangle. The Square guards stand on pedestals surrounded on four sides by a red velvet rope like they have at movie theatres:

How to Get Kicked Out of China 101: David pinching a Chinese guard’s ass through the magic of photographic perspective.

We crossed the road to enter the Forbidden City—

the imperial palace from the Ming to the Qing dynasties (circa 1406—1912). It’s not forbidden to enter anymore, as long as you pay a 2 Yuan entrance fee. It is now home to the Palace Museum and a collection of photographs, such as the Emperor of the Dork Dynasty:

We never found an entrance to the Palace Museum and after several failed attempts to enter through the exit, we gave up on it and David went to the male piss room.

I know it’s hard to read, but it definitely says “male piss room”. I was trying to be inconspicuous, as I usually am when I photograph toilets, so we take what we can get. And yes, I felt left out as there was no female piss room.
Then at last, he found us: Saturday Hero. As heroes often do, he came riding on a chariot of motorized bicycle with a bench seat on the back. We hopped on and communicated our next destination: Houhai Lake.
The seemingly circuitous route took us through some narrow residential alleys:

He stopped on the north side of the Forbidden City for a photo op.
David with the Saturday Hero himself:

Houhai: a beautiful lake in central Beijing

surrounded by restaurants, bars, and really classy establishments:

As we walked the perimeter of the Lake, we denied at least 583 rickshaw drivers. They have a brilliant tactic of offering a ride and immediately agreeing with themselves. Example: “Rickshaw? Ok!”
Met Rita to go to dinner with David’s friends Andrew, Nicola, and Tom. We ate Muslim food and watched belly dancers:

Then out for ice cream at Coldstone where I talked with Stephanie, Andrew’s employee and fellow English grad. Nothing like bonding over Emerson in Beijing…

Next day, THE WALL. We hired a driver (Sunday Hero) to take us out to the Mutianyu section of The Wall---about an hour and a half drive to what we thought would be low on tourists. Wrong on the few tourists part, but The Wall was indeed Great. To get up to The Wall, you can take a cable car. One friend alleges that he rode the same car as Bill Clinton. I don’t think Bill Clinton would get on this device. But we did.

I hesitate to post photos; they can hardly do it justice. But here are a few anyway:

Wouldn't be a trip to a UNESCO World Heritage Site without some defacing:

To get down from The Wall, you ride a toboggan past angry guys in long green coats who yell, “Brake! Brake! Brake!” and “No fast!” Then again, they may have been yelling “Break!” which might actually make more sense considering the circumstance.

Memorable characters at The Wall:

Our driver collected us and en route back to the hotel stopped off at The Bird’s Nest:
Next stop: Silk Market. Initially a horrid place, but got progressively better as we ascended. From there, we were offered a taxi ride to our next destination, but it really looked like a regular guy calling his maroon Mitsubishi a “taxi”. Took a legit taxi to Dong Hua Men Night Market.

I ate some beetles

Then we met Rita for Peking Duck:

Obligatory photo with the giant cartoon duck outside the restaurant:

Beijing Day Three…here’s where it gets crazy, folks.
It started out normal, at least by Chinese standards. We got up very early in order to hit everything on our schedule: Summer Palace, Temple of Heaven, and the 798 Art Zone. First stop: The Summer Palace. The magnificent and massive Palace area was unfortunately obscured by a sand storm, but I got a few decent photos:

Some of my favorite Palace names: Chamber of Heartfelt Contentment and the Hall of Dispelling Clouds.
After the Summer Palace, we met Rita for lunch. I started to feel sick, even before I ate, but tried to ignore it. It got worse and worse. I felt ridiculously hot, so I lay down on the bathroom floor…more disgusting than eating beetles, for sure. I was having a difficult time even moving by this point, but I made it back out to our table, where Rita and David said I didn’t look good. We planned to go back to the hotel to rest, but the pain started to get unbearable and I got uncommunicative besides the word “pain” and grasping my lower abdomen. I lay down again on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. A minor step above the bathroom, still way below beetles. Rita got a taxi for us and yelled “hospital” (in Mandarin) at the driver at least 80 times before he got it. Never mind the girl writhing in pain in the backseat. He finally got it and drove to the hospital where Rita knew they speak English. (Rita = Monday Hero, by the way)The ride felt like an eternity to me and David kept saying, “We’re almost there” even though he had no idea. The best friends always know when to lie. Eventually, we got there—I hardly remember getting out of the taxi and into the hospital, but I apparently did because they pumped morphine into me and I felt better fast. The doctor did a pelvic exam (never thought I’d mention such in this blog…) and then sent me up for an ultrasound. As I predicted, I’m not pregnant. I had an ovarian cyst rupture and another one still there. No big deal, really. Just insanely painful for a while.
Post pain, on morphine, filling out more paperwork:

Photo compliments the incomparable David Shapiro.
We discussed whether or not we could fly back to Hong Kong. I wanted nothing more than to get back, and the doctor said it would be fine. I felt bad that we missed the Temple of Heaven; David said at one point he was afraid I might end up there myself.
Back in HK now…alive and well. Rickshaw?

Pulitzer Rugby with Neil Simon

2010-03-23T22:51:00.012+08:00

Beijing was spectacular--and a bit of a spectacle for some...BUT, I've missed some earlier events and since I'm not really up for a full commie write-up at this time (plus, I need to acquire more photos from my incomparable travel buddy, David)...I'm just going to picture dump pre-Jing events and let my public wallow in anticipation a few more days.
Way way back, I mentioned that I was in a commercial for the drunken brawl known as the HK Rugby Sevens. Incidentally, the event is now being blamed causing HK's record high pollution index today. You can barely see me in the commercial, if you know where and exactly when to look. Barely. Since I know the exact moment and position on the screen, I see myself every morning on the TV in the train station. Makes me feel so celeb until I realize that if you're on the train, you shouldn't have to take the train.
Picture DUMP from filming day:

"The Odd Couple (Female Version)" took Hong Kong by storm from March 9 to 13. Incredible cast, team, and crew. It's not a rip off Neil Simon--he changed the gender of his original about 20 years later in order to show a female side of the situation. Again, let's picture DUMP. Please keep in mind that this was set in 1984.
The ladies with Paul and Teri, Director and AD. Paul is such a dashing Irish lad:

At the after party:

My Act 2 costume...Virginia Coultas' skirt from the 1940s. Thanks to my mom's ridiculously generous box of candy (which I of course shared with the cast), I had to go to the gym on the final performance day to make sure this skirt would still fit:

Act 1 costume, however, I could fit about 3 other pairs of pants under those hideous jeans. Notice the zipper...then try, just try, to erase that image from your memory:

Final mini-dump: Junot Diaz, Pulitzer Prize winning author of The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. I attended a literary discussion of the book (which The, Dad, and I are currently reading these two weeks). He's definitely the coolest Pulitzer Prize winner I've ever met. He's a dude from the DR with mad nerdery. At the book signing afterward, my line friend Jackie was nice enough to photograph my discussion with him.
Starts out with me saying something awkward and confusing:

Then he talks and it gets better:
And we're friends! Even on facebook. Junot before this shot: "Hide the book!" :
Now all is clear for Beijing---I can hardly wait to divulge it all (mmmaybe not ALL, some things from Beijing are better left in Beijing. Like silken coats.) Oh, a teaser.

Taiwan Day Four: Zipper in the front/Say that in French

2010-03-16T22:11:00.008+08:00

Taiwan Day 4 began innocently enough. A long (3+ hours) bus ride to a surfy-ish beach town called Kenting. En route, we passed through Heng Chun, a village of witchery and a giant banjo. In Kenting, we alight and eat at a Thai/Myanmarian restaurant. Post meal, let the chaos ensue.

Our primary goal in Kenting was to snorkel. We walked along the road, passing "Hotel California," dudes, and babes.
We managed to overcome some major language barriers ("Nar?!" doesn't help so much when attempting to rent snorkeling gear) and successfully purchased a snorkeling experience.

Ah, but the rub.

We had no means of transporting ourselves to the actual snorkeling location. If only a random stranger with lace windows and fake artillery would have collected us that morning. Enter Monday Hero. He rents mopeds to dudes and babes. However, he will only rent to dudes and babes with international drivers' licenses. For whatever reason, he took it upon himself to ensure our snorkeling happiness and called a taxi for us.

At the snorkeling place, we changed into our gear and took another weird gray taxi bus with two new friends to the shore.

Astounding experience. Everyone has seen photos and underwater footage, but it is nothing--absolutely nothing--like seeing it in real life. Maybe part of it is the element of surprise. A massive school of fish suddenly streamed out of a hole in a coral boulder and swam directly under me. A snake-like eel thing (my bio friends are impressed with my terminology, I'm sure)--anyway, the eel thing wove itself around corals, plants, and my leg. Dozens of varieties of fish swam, fought, hid, ate and chased each other in the aquatic metropolis as I floated above it, trying not to inadvertently touch anything. I could have stayed out there for hours, but apparently it was cold and the guide made us go back after only 45 minutes.
Several times, I strayed too far from the pack and had to be beckoned to return to the fold. The waves sometimes crashed over my head and into my respiration tube. This solidified for me, in a very real and tangible way, what I have always known cerebrally: humans should not ever drink seawater. Coleridge said it best,
"Water, water every where,/And all the boards did shrink;/Water, water every where,/Nor any drop to drink." I used to think that Mariner was a bit of a wuss. I can feel his pain a bit more accurately now--same as Pi. Not that I've ever killed an albatross or shared a boat with a tiger--I can identify only with the water part.

Okay, so that was an unnecessary literary tangent to express that drinking saltwater sucks.

Upon our arrival on shore, they threw us in a big red van with about 15 new friends. After a mere two minutes, they plucked us from the red van and told us to get in the gray van (people telling us to get into gray vehicles would be a recurring theme if someone were to write an analytical paper about our trip. I haven't unpacked that metaphor yet, but I'm sure someone will). They took us back to the snorkeling place so we could shower with hoses, change clothes, and short circuit several hair dryers.
Our original gray van was to collect us at 5:30pm, but it was held up in traffic, so we had to attempt to attract a ride the old-fashioned way:

(All photos stolen from Meaghan)
It worked, and they sent a different gray van with several new friends inside: 5 Chinese people and 2 ridiculously good-looking French men. The strikingly handsome French men were also heading back to Taipei via the High Speed Rail. We ended up in the same car, but parted ways in Taipei as we ventured to our hostel of the evening. The "main guy" at the hostel was Brad from Texas. He's an architect and a fascinating personage. He was just in Hong Kong last week on one of those I-Need-To-Leave-Taiwan-To-Renew-My-Visa trips. Meaghan and I met up with him to show off our city.

To round out this whole expedition--we got up the next morning, ate breakfast with a secretive Australian guy (later learned he does what, McG--mail-order brides?) and went directly to the airport.

Crazy trip...next up: Beijing!! Going next weekend with fellow American and theatre supporter extraordinaire, David.

In case anyone is wondering, I am still working. A lot. We have many shows all the time. Before I hit the Jing, I'm hoping, if I'm not too overwhelmed with life, to blog about "The Odd Couple" and my epic meeting of Junot Diaz. And the shenanigans in my apartment--anyone need sequins? All this and more, oh so much more.

Taiwan Day 3, Or "Are we really going to get in that car?"

2010-03-04T16:40:00.008+08:00

Day three began with the sadness of leaving the sordidly sketchy hotel, and the happiness that we weren't staying there that night with the Valentine's Day Rates: Increased, displayed, and available by the hour.
We watched a lion dance on the way to breakfast, which we ate al fresco (breakfast, not the lions). It was just like Europe! Except I ate curry and had a really hard time ordering orange juice. I ended up with some sort of green tea. Tainan is the oldest city in Taiwan, rife with ancient temples, which we spent the morning locating:

Next Tainan stop, The Chihkan Tower: It was a Dutch fort in the colonial days (1620s). The Taiwanese called it "Tower of Savages" and "Tower of the Red-Haired Barbarians". I sense some contempt for the Dutch settlers. A stone rendition of the Dutch surrendering in 1661 to Koxinga, a Ming Dynasty general: After a nine-month siege, the Dutch were forced to sign a treaty with Koxinga leave the island forever. "Koxinga" is a European bastardization of "Guo Xing Ye" which means "Lord with the Royal Surname." Trying to figure out if "Carpenter" is royal. Inside the Tower resides the god of literature: He stands on a huge mythical dragon and kicks the Big Dipper. Many students were there praying to him for good grades. Wish I'd known about that in college. Around this time, I heard people speaking Cantonese--musical relief to my ears--and immediately invited myself into conversation with the HK family.
We took a train to Xinying, a city we had no interest in seeing, but there were buses from there to the mud springs--a main attraction of Taiwan. Unfortunately, when we arrived in Xinying, we discovered that the next bus out would leave in 1.5 hours. By then and the time it would take to get there, it would be too late to do anything. Oh, but what luck! A cab driver said he would drive us there immediately for about $8US. Ok then. All was well until the cab stopped in an alley, the driver told us to get out and the man who had approached us before told us to get in his car. We obliged, as good hostages do. It was a small gray Toyota (probably on the re-call list), with lace around the windows and a gun on the floor of the backseat. When Lindsey asked Gaelle if she was concerned about the gun, she said, "No, it's not even real." She was right...but still, who has a fake gun in their car? I kept trying to ask our friendly driver what his name was, but he never knew I was talking to him. In about 45 minutes, we arrived in Guangzihling, a city with many springs. He dropped us off at a particular spring and gave us his number so that we could call him for a ride back into the city. We looked down into the spring and--wait for this Christmas Miracle--we see Hugh and Susan, our Canadian neighbors from the shady hotel in Tainan! Hugh, circa 65 years old, yelled up at us, "We got in for the kid price, 350!" Duly noted. At the entrance gate, we saw the prices: 350 (about $4US) and 500. The guy at the gate asked us which price we'd like to pay.
--What's the difference?
--350 for kids. 500 for adults.
--Well, we're adults, but we're friends with that guy who got in for 350.
--Oh! He's your friend! 350 is fine. Go in. Go in.
We spent about 2 hours sitting in extremely hot water and clay, splashing an annoying kid in the cold pool, and attempting to communicate. No one spoke any Canto, but one grandma called me over to talk to her granddaughter in English. We said many profound things to each other when she wasn't hiding her terrified face from me. Grandma beamed throughout, though she understood none of it. It reminded me of my own grandma who stood by proudly when I "talked Chinese" with the guy at King's Wok in South Dakota.
We showered off the clay and called the guy with the grey Toyota. He drove us to the Lake of Fire and Ice. It was dark, so we couldn't see much of a lake, but here's the main attraction:
It's a rock, flowing with water and perpetually on fire. Water and fire do not typically coexist. There's some sort of geological explanation for it and I'm sure there's also a deep metaphorical connection I should make here about humanity and harmony, but we heard the Toyota honking at us (we told him we'd be 5 minutes). We hurriedly finished our famous Taiwanese sausages on a stick, and rode back to Xinying. There, we caught another train down to Kaoshiung (location of the earthquake a couple days ago). Walked a bit to find a place to stay then went out to the night market.

It was similar to HK night markets, but with more food and a better sense of pedestrian traffic lanes. We ate mysterious things and I found the famous "pineapple biscuits" someone in the office requested. So ends Day Three...yes, that was all in one day. Don't relax yet, the excitement of Day 4 is yet to come.

Taiwan Day Two

2010-02-21T20:11:00.010+08:00

Plan for the first morning: get out of Taipei. Unfortunately, due to increased traffic from CNY travellers, the next available train out of Taipei was at 6:30pm. Suddenly, it was desirable to sight see around Taipei. We stored our items in a locker at the train station (this fact plays an important part later in the story of Day Two). En route to the first landmark, we serendipitously crossed a road with Juno, a friend from the hostel. Another Christmas Miracle! She joined us to see Taipei 101, the 2nd tallest building IN THE WORLD! Or something like that. It is tall: It is possible to pay a high-sum for the high-speed elevator to near-the-top for a magnificent view of the city. However, the combination of Taipei's haziness and our thriftiness pointed us away from the observation deck and toward a photo op with this nearly accurate representation: Juno lives in Seoul and writes articles about travelling (in English) on traveldudes--found over there to the right. Plans for visiting HK and Seoul are already in progress! We all went out in search of lunch--an epic quest when many establishments are closed for the holiday. Ultimately, we found more noodles: But not without stopping by a kindly street vendor for some mysterious and glutinous rice thing:
The Taiwanese are a far more gregarious people than Hong Kongers. Of course, this impression is formed mostly by the handsome man on the train who leaned over to me and whispered, "beautiful". We were offered unsolicited help; strangers wished good health on us for the new year; some people actually smiled. It was like a Chinese Midwest. We even saw a HarvestStore silo in the south.
After lunch, we visited the Longshan Temple, the most famous one in Taipei:
Back at the train station, we could not find the lockers in which we had stored our luggage. It is a large and complicated station, with many levels, exits, and distractions such as a Cold Stone Creamery. When it grew desperately late, we presented the keys to various people and asked, "NAR?!" and looked confused. It worked, as Nar always does. We followed a circuitous path through a parking lot, found the missing lockers, collected our things, and located the High Speed Rail train 15 minutes before departure.
Late that night, we arrived in Tainan, the oldest city in Taiwan, checked into a shady hotel, and met our friendly Canadian neighbors, Hugh and Susan. They showed off the sketchiness of their room, including the naked mermaid stained glass window, which looks into the shower:
As fun as naked stained glass mermaids are, we parted ways with our new Canadian friends, to find food again. At 11pm on Chinese New Year's Eve is a terrible time to look for food in an ancient Taiwanese city. Just as we were beginning to lose hope, we miraculously glanced down an alley and found our grail: Hud La Voos. When we walked in, I almost apologized for interrupting a family gathering. We were quickly welcomed and ushered to the upstairs area. The pub is owned and run by members of an aboriginal Taiwanese tribe. They serve traditional food (including crickets, which unfortunately, were out of stock) and original artwork covers the walls:
We also had the good fortune to meet Lief, whose stunning blog can be found to the right. Lief is really cool, and is therefore from Canada. With 20 years living in Taiwan, he was incredibly helpful to guide our plan and give us useful information. He and his wife own Hud La Voos; if you are ever in Tainan, I cannot recommend this place highly enough! Exclamation! Three lovely ladies performed a traditional dance, then encouraged us to dance with them. Post dancing, a bit sweaty: Then of course, it was time to limbo.
It wasn't a competition, but I won in terms of style and they gave me a free drink! (it was orange juice, dad)
Also, I enjoyed the privacy of the urinal, which I did not use: We danced into the night, then walked back to our shady hotel where we had to open the windows, despite the coldness, in order to air out the unpleasant and mysterious odor. Day Three brings many more surprises, twists, and turns...and some things of which The Mother would not approve, so don't miss it.

Taiwan Day One, Or "NAR?!"

2010-02-19T21:09:00.005+08:00

I like to flatter myself that the Chinese government is reading this, so first I'd like to say that Taiwan is not a country! But somehow I went there, along with Meaghan, Lindsey, and Gaelle.
I like the idea of a pre-trip photo to contrast it with a post-trip photo where faces may be scratched and eyes gauged:

First night in Taipei, we maneuvered our way to the hostel: Eight Elephants. A Taiwanese flag for a door of maximum security:

We dumped our accoutrements at the hostel, made some quick friends and ventured out to the ShiDa Night Market for food. Mandarin is spoken in Taiwan. My Mandarin is currently limited to "Hello", "Thank you", "I am American", "Delicious!" and "Where?". The last one proving the most helpful when combined with pointing at a map and looking confused. We arrived late, even for a night market, yet in time for these traditional noodles,
I asked the noodle guy if he spoke Cantonese. A long shot--like asking someone in Jacksonville if he speaks Hungarian. However, he spoke Canto--first Christmas Miracle of the trip! Never in my pre-HK life did I think, "Thank God someone speaks Cantonese around here." But in Taiwan, that thought surfaced more than once.
The group with noodles:

A quotidian image of a chopstick wrapper spear:

Upon our return to the hostel, I invited myself to play Apples to Apples with the other residents. Is "residents" the appropriate term? Sounds like we're in an institution. The next morning, after our escape:

In all seriousness, as pink elephants necessarily are, I would highly recommend this hostel. It caters to the new hippie in me. Also, there were a lot of Canadians there--Canadians showed up all over Taiwan, usually doing awesome things. They're my new favorite species. So ends Day One...stay tuned. Four more days to go.

Once, Twice, Three Times...

2010-02-09T01:01:00.002+08:00

I really want to live in Quarry Bay (my current 'hood) with "lady always fly away." She sent me an email:
"Hi Camber,
Are you a lady?"

Thanks, parentals, for the apparently androgynous name.

How do I answer such a question? Do I have modest and maidenly airs? How about virtues? Am I virtuous? Who decides about ladyship? I don't drink beer; that's quite ladylike. I read books, such as a lady should. I speak French, the Official Language of ladies.
However, to sleep, I wear flannel pants with my university's insignia embroidered on the leg. Strike one against ladyness. I drink a mysterious milk product from a large rectangular box. It doesn't require refrigeration and expires in 6 months. Ladies be repulsed. If there aren't any clean bowls, sometimes I eat cereal out of water glasses. Ghetto.

I will decide this via online poll. Readership, please advise.

(For the many parties interested in the German model, I have unfortunately not heard back from her. I think if I persist and send another message, it would be very unladylike)

Slap That...and always fly away

2010-02-04T22:57:00.004+08:00

I auditioned for the Australian musical "The Venetian Twins." This was a first for me, not just because of the requisite Aussie accent, it was the first time I auditioned for a show for a director I had slapped. I've slapped only one person in my life (which is of course a story in itself, and will unfortunately never appear in this blog) and it was this director.
After reading part of the script, I knew I wanted to audition. After seeing the name of the director, I knew if I auditioned, it would take a lot of moxy. Fortunately, I've got moxy to spare, and am always available for blog fodder, so I went. He was very professional, never mentioning the aforesaid altercation. However, after I read for the specific part, he had me read another scene as a different character, Rosina. In the scene, Rosina slaps someone across the face. The slap was bad; the angle, the energy...just bad. I half expected the director to shout "I know you can do better than that!" But he didn't. I'm sure he was laughing inside. I'll know if I got a call-back by next week. Not holding breath.

If you haven't yet, check out the new blog of Ann--a clever and witty wordsmith searching for a place in the dreary American job market, armed with The Arabian Nights.

The apartment search in ON. I've emailed/messaged at least 10 potential freaks in search of the perfect box. One near my current place is leading in my heart. I would share it with "one lady always fly away." Sounds like a good deal to me.
In a very bizarre turn of events, I also discovered an ad to share an apartment with the German model I met during the commercial 2 weekends ago. Plus, I've been seeing her in JillStuart ads plastered all over the trains. Not sure why a seemingly normal top model wants to share a flat, but I sent her a request anyway. I think I'll have some pull considering our shared history as orange Marge Simpsons.

Dromedary To Go Packing

2010-01-28T22:27:00.009+08:00

As my mind has been occupied with elephant dances, procrastinating on my family's Christmas Letter, Odd Couple line memorization, and getting the tone of "gau" right, the weblog has been lacking in luster. Let us, therefore, engage in a massive Picture Dump.
As I failed to comment on the events of the holiday season I will briefly divulge. I went to the airport, arriving less than 45 minutes before the scheduled departure of my flight to LA. The Mother would NOT have approved. Rather than sitting around LAX for 14 hours (as I, in my great wisdom, had planned), my compassionate sister booked a hotel for me. Mostly, she did not want me to smell when she collected me at the Sioux Falls, SD, airport the next day. I think I smelled about usual when I arrived an hour late and shoved my bag, overstuffed with Hong Kong crap, into Devon and Jeff's Fit.
The days following involved snow, ice, and eating A LOT of Americanized Chinese food. Also, showing off my Canto skills to the 3 Chinese people in Brookings, SD. Reconnecting with friends was delightful, blah blah blah...I stayed with Grandma, which was AMAZING, although she forced me to drink about 3 gallons of chocolate milk over 4 days.
I must have been so overwhelmed with the warmth of family that I forgot to take any pictures during that period. However, I went to NYC for New Year's Eve. Devon and Jeff allowed me to sleep on the floor of their hotel in exchange for being a really bad tour guide and making them walk a circuitous route in sub-freezing temperatures to eat at my favorite Muslim-Kosher bagel place. Mostly, they rode around on the tour bus while I hung out with my good friend, DeVette:

Another highlight was the Broadway musical "Next to Normal." In case you're wondering, Devon already made the joke that we're nowhere near normal, so I won't include that here, in an effort to make us not be the same person:

Little Italy has the best cars:

All this seems so far in the past, considering the great and many things I have accomplished since returning to Hong Kong. While there are myriad tales from this era, let us linger no longer.

Back in The Kong (as the cool kids, and sometimes I, call it), I attended a live musical performance known as a "concert" of Green Day. Meaghan and I went to vent all that Americana angst we hold. In our excitement, we were a bit early:

The poster proves it was Green Day; it mostly was Green Day, except for the terrible random audience member they brought on stage for one song. She didn't even know the words.

Lindsey and friends attended also. The guy on the left is named Kitty:

My good friend, and parentals' biggest HK fan, Jess had a birthday, Hot Pot style. Hot Pot is where there are boiling bowls of soup in or on the table and you order a bunch of raw meat, dumplings, vegetables, and cook them.
The Pot, close up:

The Spread:

Some Hot Pot participants:

They brought out prawns. On sticks. ALIVE:

They actually were crawling off the plate.

Rachel and I ate them anyway:

The following weekend, after Odd Couple rehearsal, The Penguin made an appearance at a Causeway Bay bookstore (in the neighborhood of the wine bar at which I used to sing). The people at the bookstore were very particular that we were not to have all 3 TIE members in costume there, or else the kids would "get too excited." Heaven forbid children have fun on a weekend. So I said I would go as the Penguin and read a story to them about the environment or something. No. They wanted our script. So I "performed" the whole Penguin show by myself in 30 minutes. Something great that has come from doing this for over a year is the incredible ability to BS. I had a few things planned, but I basically winged it. Fortunately, Karen was there to document the event, by taking over 100 photos (over 2 30 minute sessions). Some highlights:
The beginning. Just warming up the crowd:

I don't know what to do!:

Just smile. The more ridiculous the better:

And cha-cha:

The crowd is thrilled:

Aww, child in awe:

Trying to touch the cute giant penguin. He probably has sticky hands:

Next step is, of course, to strike the cute giant penguin:

In other, pictureless, news, I have been essentially evicted from my apartment. It's not for throwing a pumpkin off my balcony like last time. This time the landlord sold the property and the new tenant wants to move in March 10. I got them back though. Nearly all the lights in my apartment are burned out--they had difficult time showing the place after dark--ha--got them good.
I'd like to think of it as an opportunity rather than a negativity, but I can't. I don't mind switching flats, it's the neighborhood I will miss. I'm a celebrity here now. Especially at my laundry place. They get so excited when I come in. Everyone runs towards the door. If my hair looks good, they ask if I have a date. Then they say, "Bye, Camel!" Because they think my name is Camel. And I'm in with Mai, the girl at the video rental store. She tells me what movies are good and sometimes waives late fees if I make her laugh. Then there are my doormen--they always unlock the door for me before I enter the code now--even the one who snarls at me when I return home after a civilized hour. My favorite doorman says "Nice to meet you" to me every time I see him. It's been nice for him to meet me many many times.

Some astute readers may wonder at the lack of discussion of the commercial. I did it. It will air from mid-February till the end of March or so. It is not likely to air in the US or Europe (locations of most readers), but it may be online. I will advise. I will also delve deeper into this when I can legally post the photos. They didn't want the secrets out before the ad airs. I'm respectful and professional--the irony of which is lost until I can post pictures of my wig.

EXPLICIT CONTENT

2010-01-16T01:18:00.003+08:00

Seriously, underagers, read no further. Parentals, you won't like this, but the story cannot go untold.

Today we had a Penguin show, followed by a Q & A session (that's Question and Answer, dad, since I know you're still reading.) During the show and the Q & A, I used Cantonese whenever possible to keep their interest. After several questions, one student asked me, "How did you learn to speak Cantonese so well?"

What I thought I said: "My friends taught me."
What I actually said: "My friends fucked me."

Of course, I did not realize what I had said. After I said it, everyone applauded wildly. I thought they were impressed with my language skills, so I nodded and said, "Thank you." After the show, Zac informed me of what I had said and suspected that all the teenage boys wanted to teach me Cantonese.

Pictures and a report on Christmas/New Years to come...as well as Chinese New Year plans.
J'ville residents: Next Source Article will be in the Jan 28 edition. I might have a byline photo by then.

BIG SEMI-CLEAN NEWS:
I've been cast in a commercial!
I will be advertising for the Hong Kong Rugby Sevens. It's probably my favorite sport. After badminton and round-the-world ping pong. Anyway, I'm not sure exactly what I'll be doing, but I'm apparently a main character, business woman-type. Then I go crazy and paint my face or something. HK Rugby Sevens is a drunken brawl. I'm so proud to promote it! Going in for a fitting on Sunday; will perhaps learn more.

Art, Fences, Dancing, Movies, and Rebels

2009-12-16T21:13:00.004+08:00

Although I'm currently on a high induced by the raging success of our first 100 Movies in 1 Hour show, I feel I should, for the benefit of the reader and any future biographers, go back in time and report the previous 2 weeks in chronological order.

Dec 4--Danni's birthday party. Extremely astute readers may remember Danni as a member of the trip to Macau now fondly known as "The Great Deportation" (she jumped off the tower, we all slept in pods). True to her unique form, we didn't have a normal dinner/drinks, but 25 of us monopolized a studio called Art Jam. They provide a canvas, brushes, and unlimited paints:

Including my favorite color:

I'm not a visual artist, and to know that some of my readers are gives me pause to post what I came up with...Let's just say, everyone else had 4 hours, but due to a Tom Sawyer rehearsal, I had only 1 hour 15 minutes. Enough excuses, here I am with Danni the birthday girl and my nearly completed masterpiece:

I have mounted my creation in the keyboard room of my apartment. It really livens the place up.

Tom Sawyer--9 performances total, including 3 in one day--went very well. Albert gave us a photo CD with over 1,000 photos, so when I have a chance, I'll sort through and post some. I have one from my camera:

Aaron (L) played the preacher. The handsome bloke in the middle is Mike Brooks (no relation to Mel). Mike is one of my new favorites--very dry and sarcastic sense of humor. He's an actor for Dramatic English's rival company, Chunky Onion, but we put that battle aside for the sake of this show, considered neutral ground. We may even work together on a future comedy sketch project.
You might notice some new facial hair on me. Shiona (the lovely star playing Aunt Polly) cut some hair from Injun Joe's wig, covered it in spirit gum and stuck it to my face. It was a "bold move" according to fellow cast mates--and it definitely made the kids react more violently.

Friend support was again at a high for Tom Sawyer--nearly everyone in "The Odd Couple" cast came out. Meaghan and David came--each vying for the title of my "biggest fan"--Grandma's in 3rd row center for every show, so she's still in the lead. Many "Millie" friends came; Nicole, Shayin, Sky (stage manager) and I after an evening performance:

I made it out to an amazingly soulful event called "Urban Dance Festival." I went to support Nicole, Shayin, and Miguel as they danced through office buildings, up escalators, and in the street. It made me feel the soul that permeates NYC, but seems to be lacking in HK--so refreshing.

I walked around the event with my new friend Eden (a guy named after the Garden), Ken (crew for Tom Sawyer), Vanessa (of Millie), and two ladies from my gym--all at different times and all serendipitously, as I attended the event, which was within a 10 minute walk from my apartment, alone. Nicole and Shayin's moms found me and invited me to sit with them. They really enjoy my attempts at speaking Cantonese and showed me off to Nicole's grandmother. They also enjoy giving me dating advice and hearing about cultural "misunderstandings" I've encountered (oh, yes, I mentioned the fewer chins).

Back to work this week (Tom Sawyer conflicted with Wed and Thurs afternoon and all day Friday), we had a Penguin show on Tuesday at an all girls school. When we arrived, I glanced at the name of the school and it said something about the Virgin Mary and a Convent. The stage was quite small and I noticed that the seats were set very far from the stage. Shortly before we were to go on, Olaf informed us that this was a "different" school--apparently for girls who have had some trouble with the law. The seats were placed far away in case the girls wanted to fight us. It gives the teachers time to interfere. I wasn't worried--I'm enclosed in some seriously thick Penguin foam. The only way they could have gotten me is if they tipped me over; I can't stand up in that thing.
There were some frantic antics before we began--"should we go into the audience for the interactive part?" yada yada yada. It was around this time that I realized how similar the words "convent" and "convict" are. All went well--they were definitely a reactive audience. I'd like to go back there for our Movie show.
At last, we arrive at the present. Our first movie show was an absolute SMASH! I can't even describe it fully. Another all girls school--900 girls in attendance. Part of our shtick is that we're filming a movie tribute and the audience are the extras. Occasionally, we need to bump the extras up to roles such as Marilyn Monroe, a sound effects team, silent movie actors, and Edward and Bella in Twilight. I was a bit worried that I would have issues getting students on stage, but I actually had the opposite problem--too many students wanted to come up. It was excellent. Despite some "interesting" costume change issues (we do a Movie Musical Medley with changes needed almost instantaneously), we put on the best show I've been a part of for DE--student reaction was unbelievably high and teachers were lining up to thank and congratulate us.

We had our final "Odd Couple" rehearsal before our holiday break, complete with cupcakes, theatre games, and a Secret Santa gift exchange. The next few days have much less stress (I was stressed about the movie show...), albeit several Penguin shows (those are annoying, but not too stressful). Then I fly to LA very late Tuesday night, South Dakota the next day until New York for New Years. Feeling gooooood.

Run, Gum Ba, Run

2009-12-02T20:46:00.004+08:00

A man stopped me on the street and asked, "Are you dancing?" I thought to myself, "I wish I were dancing," so I said, "Yes." Then the man handed me a flier for a dance studio nearby. The problem is that it was all in Chinese, so I'm afraid I would accidentally go to a ballet class for children under 5.
East Asian Games begin on Saturday. M & D, the swimming and diving events will be held in the park where I made you wait for 4 hours while I worked. Little did you know how close to athletic greatness you were.
Speaking of athletic greatness, I completed my first 10k race on Sunday. Full coverage of the event will appear in an upcoming edition of Jacksonville's The Source newspaper. For the benefit of my readership beyond the circulation of that publication, I will briefly summarize the story.
About 8,000 runners participated in UNICEF's Race for Children. Everyone knows how much I enjoy racing for children--or is that racing away from children? I can never remember. Either way, I did it and give myself 3 stars. One for getting out of bed at 5am. One for not needing medical assistance. And one for not getting thrown in the Slow Van. If you didn't reach a certain point in the race by a certain time, a special van would come by and drive you to the finish line.
At the starting line, in the middle of a huge pack, I talked to my new friend, Michelle about how I planned to come in last place, in order to make everyone else feel better about themselves. She said that coming in last would be impossible, and I shook my head at her disbelief in me. The start of the race was unusual. Michelle is a beauty consultant, so I tried to consult her. As the starting horn sounded, we were talking about how I should permanently darken my eyelashes to eliminate the need for mascara. Also near the start, Goofy was off to the side. Hundreds of runners took the opportunity for a photo-op. Many runners took photos throughout the race, which seemed ridiculous to me, but I'm not a serious runner. I can't even hydrate properly. You're supposed to hurl the water into your mouth and throw the cup down on the street like you're too cool for trash cans. I've never been too cool for a can. This is really standing between me and a serious career in running. That and motivation. I also need to interject that there was a runner dressed as Santa Claus.
After the race, feeling exhilarated, Michelle, Derek and I:

The Mother and Paloma, you may remember Derek as the guitar player from the wine bar. He's multi-talented and finished the 10k with a very fast time.

In other news, Tom Sawyer opens in one week. It's going to be miraculous!
Tickets to South Dakota and NYC have been booked. We have our first Movie Show in 2 weeks. I've founded a book club with my friend Patrick, but we don't want to invite other people into it because we assume then they would want to choose books and it might get ugly like on The View. Also reading Henry James' Washington Square concurrently with The, Dad. We call it The Dork Olympics. Other family members may or may not choose to participate in the events, which include weekly discussions/debriefings and dictionary searches for unknown vocabulary.
I don't know how anyone would NOT want to participate.

Millie. Again...

2009-11-27T09:06:00.003+08:00

Albert has posted some "Millie" videos on youtube. It really is your lucky day!

I may need to explain to the parental units...copy the URL address below and paste it into that long white box near the top of the computer screen. Hit "Enter" and it should take you to the right video. If all else fails, you appear to understand the concept of a google search, so go to www.youtube.com and put my full name in the search engine and Forget About the Boy will come up. Perhaps I'll do a phone conference to explain further, so as to relieve other readers

The Speed Test
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57BuMvj--6s

Forget About the Boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iZBHNiZBQA

Thanks A Lot

2009-11-22T23:14:00.006+08:00

The Second Annual Hong Kong Style Thanksgiving Dinner has taken place. This year, we gathered at Aaron's apartment to enjoy a potluck meal. Aaron cooked an actual turkey in an oven! I didn't know there were turkeys or ovens in HK, so this was a very enlightening evening. He also made stuffing and cranberry sauce from scratch, which shamed my Betty Crocker potato buds.
The cornucopia:

Aaron's famous stuffed peppers:

Because it's not Thanksgiving without squid potatoes:

At the table--Scott, who was the musical director of "Thoroughly Modern Mille" said he hadn't been to a Thanksgiving dinner since 1973, when he was hitch-hiking in Maryland and someone picked them up on the way to one.

I went early to Aaron's to help prepare. I tried to cube the yams, but my technique was so terrible, he insisted I let him do it while I went to the store to buy marshmallows.

I haven't seen Fewer Chins guy this week, which may be due to the fact that I made puppy chow for Thanksgiving, possibly resulting in the return of one or more chins. No work on Monday or Tuesday. Typically, I would have travelled over a 4-day weekend, but with rehearsals and "training" (I'm running a 10k next week) I stayed here. Hiking with Tom Sawyer tomorrow should result in better pictures for the next post. Another goal is to make my apartment not look like a frat house anymore. I say that to myself every week, but this time, I'm sure I mean it.

so...how many did I have?

2009-11-16T00:12:00.003+08:00

On the Carpenter parental units' trip to Hong Kong, the paternal unit expressed interest in the job of this person:

The job is to throw a giant rope from the ferry to the dock. We agreed that with this job, between the rope throwing, one could accomplish much reading, if one desired.

Since we perform at schools in the far reaches of Hong Kong, we are frequently graced with non-touristy scenes. Thanks to a GREAT suggestion from AliC, I've started taking photos of some of these scenes. More to come, but for now... Line drying on a public railing:

Man with a bird cage:

We still use the camera in the show. This was the first time the student was really into it:

Also, everyone knows about the East Asian Games coming to Hong Kong in a couple weeks. Every country represented at the games gets to have a giant illuminated structure. This is in TST, by the clock tower. I took a photo of the Mongolian one--just for you, Caitlin.
Does this look like your ger?:

I went on a date the other night with a guy I've known for several months...he told me I'm much more beautiful now that I have fewer chins. HAHAHAHAHA!!! No American would ever say that. Fortunately, I'm beyond taking offense to just about anything.
We had our first rehearsal for "The Odd Couple" on Saturday morning--a read through/brunch at the 24-hour breakfast diner. This cast is incredible. One woman is named "Shirley" so I look forward to asking if she's serious. "Tom Sawyer" is going strong. We had our first full run-through tonight and we open in about 3 and a half weeks. Tonight, the guy playing Tom told me that he begged and pleaded with the director of "The Odd Couple" to have something to do with the production, since the cast is all the "big names". I denied being such, but nonetheless look forward to having him as deputy stage manager.
Jodi (director of "Tom Sawyer") and I went to a great production of "The Merchant of Venice"--planning to go on a hike with "fewer chins" guy tomorrow, barring a weather-related cancellation. This entry contains an excessive use of quotation marks. I'll try to keep that in check next time.

The Force

2009-11-07T13:16:00.006+08:00

I've been on a bit of a blog sabbatical, much to the disappointment of my parental units and Keith Bradbury, I'm sure. Usually, on a sabbatical, one refreshes and educates oneself. As you can see, I have done just that:

Important note: This is NOT from Halloween. We did schedule our movie shoot for immediately after Halloween in order to get a good deal on a Darth Vader costume rental. This is part of our "100 Movies" show. The plan is that the students will watch the short film and provide the necessary sound effects. Basically, it's Superman's quotidian morning routine, which involves encounters with Cat Woman, Gollum, The Joker, and an epic battle with Darth Vader.

We celebrated my birthday...again. If age went with birthday celebrations, I'd be floating around mid-thirties by now. This one was with DE staff and included Nicole's birthday, too. I enjoy how on the cake, my name is in Chinese and hers is in English:

David's birthday called for a grand celebration as well (anyone who read my Source article may now see the source of that inspiration). He had a Turtle cake:

Also at David's party, I witnessed a marriage proposal for the first time in my life. Thank goodness, I wasn't directly involved in it, but congratulations to Teddy, who kept apologizing after said proposal:

For the benefit of my parental units, here is a recent photo of Sky and Aaron (and myself):

I talk about them frequently, so I thought you might like to put faces to the names. They were both in "Millie" and Aaron is playing the Preacher in "Tom Sawyer".
AliC-message received and indeed, I will begin to take more pictures of daily Hong Kong life.
Going to see "Sister Mary Ignatius Explains it All for You" tonight. I read it in American Drama in college and definitely look forward to seeing it! (Is that enough pimping, McG?--sorry, it's on the last day and I know you're sold out anyway...)
STILL haven't heard from "The Odd Couple" so maybe it's about time to give up. On that note, I just remembered that I have a great picture for AliC:

It's a traditional Chinese Junk. People can rent these and take them out for parties on the ocean. I went on one a couple of nights ago with the director of "Tom Sawyer", American Indian Joe (this is my own personal adjustment of Twain's character name), and several other interesting people.
With that, I hope that's a long enough post to suffice for a week or two...I broke my internet stick, so I'm back at the cafe! They have missed me terribly, I'm sure.

Please Read With Alacrity

2009-10-26T01:23:00.003+08:00

I've started studying GRE vocabulary, so I may throw some gems into the blog to help solidify definitions in my brain. However, my study guide is in alphabetical order, so any $10,000 words will likely begin with "A"...possibly "B" by next week.

Steven Varble arrived last week, left on Friday and will come back again tomorrow night en route back to the US. If his train is early enough, he will have the good fortune to attend our public performance of the Penguin show. We had long two rehearsals today, with a quick rehearsal for "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" for me in between (I had to abscond from that one to get back for Penguin rehearsal part 2)

Jodi, an ensemble member of "Millie" asked me to be in her Tom Sawyer cast. Performance is in December, for those looking to travel to HK. Tom is played by one of my favorite backstage crew of "Millie," and since I'm the teacher, most of my scenes are with him.

At long last, I had a day off for a hike. David, his friend Pierra, and I went on a very "steppy" hike in the New Territories, seeking waterfalls.

Top Falls:

Along the way:

A small settlement near the start of the trail:

Fortunately, there was a gaggle of HK teens there, ready and willing to take a group picture for us:

Last weekend, Michael and I sang "A Little Fall of Rain" at a fundraiser for the HK Breast Cancer Research Society. Thanks to Rita for the picture!:

We've been busily finishing the new "100 Movies" script and preparing the technical elements for that show. Also on my mind lately is the incredible news that Mika will be stopping in HK on his quick Asian tour. This news is analogous to...well, to something that would make the peasants rejoice. The thing with Mika is that concert goers typically wear costumes from his album covers. I take this opportunity in a public forum to ask my mom if she can make a Mika costume for me. (?) The concert is November 26, which leaves little time. I'll email pictures of possible costumes post haste. Thanks in advance! My friends think you're cool and so do I!

Picture DUMP!

2009-10-18T01:49:00.007+08:00

Look David, you made the blog! Your dreams have come true. Above is my friend David and I after a performance of Millie. Friend support for this was incredible! Elvis even came back to life. I had someone there for every performance, in addition to my grandma who sits in 3rd row center for all my shows.
My maternal unit has requested "more pictures" from Millie. Ask and ye shall receive. I can't see what most of these are, so you are spared inane captions.

For the sleazy scene, which didn't require much acting, right, Devon?:

Finally, a picture with Arvin, leading man of the show and my heart, but let's not tell him I said that:

Rita is here! She attended Michael's and my performance tonight as part of an eventful day of Hong Kong activities. Rents--we went to that noodle shop where the guy likes to write random English words on bits of paper and put them on our table. Today, we got "belonged" and "appeared". He's getting more advanced. We had a great, albeit tiring, day. Macau tomorrow. I'll try really hard not to get deported this time.

Everything Today is Thoroughly Modern...this is where I've been.

2009-10-15T17:16:00.003+08:00

Despite the lack of a tech and or dress rehearsal, "Thoroughly Modern Millie" (except for a hellish opening night) went GREAT!! Again, I can't see what pictures I have on here, so I'll take an educated guess. One is a bunch of girls in 20s flapperish gear. Note the wig. I wore the wig to differentiate myself from my character, Miss Flannery, also likely shown below.
I know you won't believe me (Devon) but I designed and created my hairdo all by myself after several failed attempts to locate an appropriate wig.
There should be another photo below of the Speed Test. We're all stenogs who use tap dancing to simulate the sounds of typing in an office. It's just like real life.

I don't have any of my photos uploaded yet (I'm currently on a different computer and just lifted some friends' photos off the facebook)
Someday, when I feel like it, I'll get on my computer and put up some other doozies.

So yes, Millie basically took up my life for about 2 weeks solid, not to mention the half of my life it took up for the 2 to 3 months prior. Good experience over all. I had a scene involving elbows which the audience found so hilarious that the other actor and I often had to hold for laughter after EVERY LINE. And uproarious applause on my exit! It was incredible...it's not all about that, but I really worked intensely on this character and it was nice that the audience appreciated her.

Now life was supposed to go back to normal, but the Hong Kong theatre scene has proven addictive. I'm auditioning for "The Odd Couple" (female version) tonight and on Saturday, Michael and I (plus another 39 couples) will be singing at a "Night of Broadway Duets" to benefit a breast cancer research organization.

I'm also looking very much forward to two visitors in the coming days: Rita, originally from Spain and currently residing in Beijing, will be here Friday night until Sunday night. Steven Varble, famous Jacksonville resident will arrive Monday night for nearly a week of mayhem and a quest for wonders!

And of course, I still have my day job. We're working on finishing the script for the "100 Movies" show and we're cutting down our 1-hour Penguin show to 30 minutes to offer a cheaper alternative to primary schools. Today we filmed some footage to be put up on our new TIE website, the address of which I will disclose in due time. Like, when I know what it is.

Birthday was fabulous--2 Millie shows and a cast party! What could be better?

So, is that a real bayonet?

2009-10-04T21:47:00.006+08:00

Today may have been the most bizarre day of my Hong Kong life...and I've worn a clown costume and rolled a giant inflatable ball down a street shouting Happy New Year in Cantonese to the thousands in attendance. And I regularly don a full-body penguin suit and tap dance on a stage in front of hundreds of students in surgical masks.
Today a group from the Thoroughly Modern Millie cast went to Stone Cutter's Island (which, confusedly, is no longer an island, but a peninsula). This is the place where the Chinese military goes (and are not allowed to leave) for at least two years of training. Since they don't allow the soldiers to go anywhere, they have an annual event where they bring in dozens of celebrities (and apparently cast members of a local musical) to provide entertainment for the troops. Kind of like what Bob Hope used to do, but with more neon lighting.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take pictures of the stage/theatre. However the several descriptors which come to mind may paint a decent picture: glitter, pink, reflective white floor, and dry ice. I was, however, able to take several pictures of the various uniformed gentlemen and Canto stars.
First up, the army band:

Ines definitely had a good time. She speaks Mandarin, which increased her popularity with many of the soldiers, since most come from the Mainland:

I made friends with these kung fu warriors:

One of the celebrities, known only as "Jonathan" became my friend, too. He has only one name (like Madonna) or he didn't tell me his surname for fear of an internet stalk. I approached him, due to his good looks, and spoke Cantonese to him, only to receive a response in perfect English with an American accent. He was really tricky, though, because after his segment, he ran away from me in different clothes. I was searching for the red clothes, but he had apparently ripped them off during his performance, to reveal hipster attire. Then he got in his special white van and drove off with the curtains pulled. But before he knew I was planning to stalk him, he agreed to a photo:

You might notice my new look.

These people shared our holding room. They are back up dancers for a very famous singer:

I saw Janice and Fiona, who are incredibly famous...so I am told. The whole thing was on TV, but someone said it aired only in China.

Surely every station around the world broadcasted the Chinese National Day parade. Wasn't it incredible? It was comparable to the Olympics opening ceremony, but more specifically Chinese. I had rehearsal all day (since no one works, let's have a 6 hour rehearsal!) But we started out with a yam cha (aka 'dim sum', Dad).

First the group:

Miguel, Aaron, Sky, and Vanessa.

This is one of the few restaurants left that serves yam cha in the original manner--patrons take dishes directly off the carts:

I didn't eat any of these, but if you were fortunate enough to get a copy of my first go at journalism in Jacksonville's hometown weekly publication "The Source," then you will appreciate the significance of this discovery:

Saturday was the mid-autumn/moon festival. I ate a homemade mooncake from Angel, but I didn't stay out late for the lantern festivities since I had to get up at 6:30am to go to the army thing. However, I did meet with Patrick in a newly opened part of HK that has a colonial feel, which may not make sense considering it's new and the colonial period has been done for over a decade. But anyway, photographic evidence:

So ends a purposefully long post, as I will not have time this week to devote here. "Millie" opens in 2 days and I have shows for work 3 days this week, plus recording sessions for the radio version of the penguin show. I may not even have time to call my family so they can wish me a happy birthday until a few days after the fact, but I know they'll still mean it.

It's a Drag

2009-09-30T00:51:00.003+08:00

We've done 3 Penguin shows now, and as I mentioned before, setting up the set is no easy task. Fortunately, my American Gladiator friend has been on board and will be there for most shows. I'm trying to think of a Gladiator name for him, which I will call him in my head while I call him George to his face. I'm open to suggestions because so far I've come up with only "Bludgeon", "The Scourge of Atlas" and "Musclenator".

First Shakespeare show is tomorrow--we've made some changes/improvements upon last year's version. We still have the requisite man in a dress in Michael's heart bleeding portrayal of Juliet.

Millie will soon take over my life. The male lead in the show is one of the best actors I've ever had the privilege to work with. Tonight, he told me that I change my DNA when I go onstage. If only that were possible! (just kidding, parental units)
Anyway, he meant it as a good thing and I was utterly flattered it came from him.

Now to the Drag.
It is believed that William Shakespeare coined the word "drag." Since only men could play the parts, the Bard would write "drag" next to female characters to mean "Dressed As Girl". Another Millie cast member did a drag show, so of course I went. Here I am with Rye (known that night as La Chiquita) and Sky, another Millie cast member:

Star-studded evening:

Michael and Lindsey came with me to support La Chiquita. Michael wore a shirt his mom made for him! We have so much in common:

As promised, a picture of the Penguin from during the show (I'm supposed to look a little terrified/confused):

There's a Millie cast member who asks me a lot of questions. They're mostly about theatre, but there are some life questions, too. They're not cool questions like Isadore used to ask (Paloma? Al? Meeps?) The questions never end and are often open-ended. Sometimes he'll ask the same question two days in a row. Sometimes he'll ask me questions at inappropriate moments, such as during a scene on stage. Sometimes he's still asking questions as I'm walking away from him to go to my train. I have nicknamed him (in my head) The Riddler.

Sorry If I Disease You

2009-09-23T23:45:00.003+08:00

The Penguin has landed. We travelled to Tuen Mun, in far northwest Hong Kong for our first show. Nothing tragic happened, the student response was high for a secondary school, and no riotous children attacked me. All in all, a good day. Pictures will come soon, and necessarily so, for there is a scene in the show when another character finds the penguin and wants to take pictures of it to put on facebook. We get students from the audience to be in the pictures, too. The transportation of our set/costumes requires much physical strength. It may initially seem to be a downside, but nay. For one, we get great exercise, but more importantly, we will now have George come with us. George works in the office, but he looks more like he should work on American Gladiator. So I think setting up the Penguin show will now be unexpectedly more enjoyable.

A verbatim quotation on an official poster in my building: "Maintain Air Conditioners to Avoid Nuisances and Other Diseases"

So if a nuisance is something that annoys someone, then by the transitive property, any time one is annoyed, one has a disease. It stands to reason.

As part of work tomorrow, we're going to a hit British TIE-type show. We are to absorb and learn from it.

I'm sure everyone is feverishly preparing for the October 1st National Day--we're celebrating the 60th anniversary of the New China! In Beijing, they've been rehearsing for a parade to dazzle the world. (that's another verbatim quotation from the evening news) They're putting restrictions on kitchen knife stores and there's no kite flying allowed until after the 1st. Also, there's a 30% chance of rain for that day. The government is working on options of how to disperse rain clouds. I read the Communist Manifesto in college, but I don't recall weather control as part of the deal. I think there'd be wider-spread support if it was in there.

Devon and Jeff (sister/brother-in-law) have booked tickets to visit in March/April! They've already found housing and it doesn't seem to be on my couch or in the ghetto, so they're off to a good start.

Whether tis nobler....

2009-09-20T22:37:00.002+08:00

I just returned from seeing "The Complete Works of Shakespeare: Abridged" performed brilliantly by an American touring company. Michael (of TIE fame) and I went and feel no shame that we plan to borrow or rather "distill" some ideas from it for our own show. The Bard plagiarized nearly everything anyway, so really, if you think about it, we're staying true to Shakespeare's methods. We got there a bit early and unexpectedly were invited into the VIP area (the guards at the door were associated with Millie--the musical I'm in that opens in 2 weeks) The VIP area is sectioned off from the proletariats by decorative mauve silk banners. Within, they serve complementary beverages.
The play exceeded my high expectations and renewed my passion for theatre, which hadn't been dwindling, but was perhaps muffled under the weight of the penguin suit. Hey mom, remember those Prince Pants you made for Into the Woods JHS 03 edition? Could you pack those and any other Shakespearean-looking garb or crowns into the next box? No rush. Also, if you have any rapper bling, we could use that. You know, like giant gold dollar signs, chains, Flava-Flave clocks, whatever's in your closet.

So then, back to life--I wrote an article for the Jacksonville publication "The Source." No word if it was fit to print. Any word, Jville people?

Our first TIE performance of Penguin is in 2 days! We're so ready. Last year's show involved a smoke machine. This year, it's a bubble machine. A week and 3 more Penguin shows later, we'll have our first Shakespeare show--Our favorite is the Macbeth song, done in a rock style, complete with mullet wigs. The choreography is much better than it was last year. There wasn't really any last year. Then on top of all that, we're rewriting the Movies show, which I "finished" in July, but it needs revamping.

Keeping up with all the potentials has been a challenge. I'm afraid if we attempted to have a pageant now, we'd have fewer contestants. I think I accidentally made one move to South Korea. Seriously, we went on a date and now he's moving to Seoul. Elvis has left the building, but he does that periodically. He'll be back. I'm sure he just couldn't handle the fame, feigned his death, and secretly moved to Uruguay. He's waiting for the appropriate time for a comeback tour.

Okay, I think I mentioned before about how I watch NBC Nightly News every morning and about how it sucks, right? I never realized how unsatisfactory it is until I compared it to the Chinese news which comes on right after. The Chinese anchors are so much better because they sometimes make subjective comments about the news. Also, they talk about actual news, not the "Making a Difference" crap that Brian Williams spouts. Does it make me a bad person that I don't care about a group of teens in Detroit, Michigan, driving around a van of vegetables to make it easier for people to make healthful choices?

So my question is: has the whole American/Chinese tire thing been on the news at all in the U.S.? It's on every day here. Every day. People here are screaming protectionism and violation of some sort of international agreement (clearly, I'm an expert on the issue). Just curious if any American news channel has addressed it.

Wow, the blog has gotten HEAVY.

I need something fluffy to balance...ah, Millie. 2 weeks, as I said. Millie hasn't challenged me much as an actor, but my math skills have improved. The young cast members help me with Cantonese--I help them with the Pythagorean Theorem. One guy came over and asked me to check his math homework. "Sure," I say. Then the heading of the page: "Differential Calculus." ha, right. Wade, if you're out there, all I have to say is, "Limit? What's a limit?"

Unfortunately, no monkey attacks this week. However, I have yet to venture to Monkey Mountain. Not sure how I managed to live here for a year and missed that one...
Also, as an anecdotal footnote, the spell check on blogger rejects "bling" as a real word. I have a complaint letter to write.

Monkey Damage

2009-09-14T22:43:00.006+08:00

We foolishly ignored the monkey warnings. Here's the brand new TIE team, spirits high before the attack:

On a day off, Lindsey, Michael, and Rex of Cheung Chau gathered for an expedition to the 10,000 Buddhas Temple. I had been before, but I was all for going again. All went well--we ate at the vegetarian restaurant there, got chastised for trying to enter a condemned building--the usual.
When it was time to descend from the rather steep hill, I suggested that we take an alternate route to spice it up a bit. About half way down, Rex spotted a monkey! I was ecstatic--a rapidly took many pictures:

After we had our fill of watching the monkeys, we attempted to continue the descent. I stopped everyone and pointed out this large monkey, positioned on the very hand rail we were to walk past:

Suddenly and without warning, this monkey charged at us, brandishing sharp teeth accompanied by an unearthly hiss. After about 3 such charges, we ultimately turned around and descended on the other side. As we passed people, I told all of them (in Cantonese) to be aware of the very angry monkeys. Michael assisted by mimicking what the monkey had done, which I found extensively entertaining.

No one was injured in the attack, but we learned a valuable lesson that day. Don't make eye contact with monkeys. It is a sign of aggression.

In other news, I just hosted a swell guy from Illinois--Jordan is on a 6 week tour of China/Nepal/India, and HK was his first stop. He joined us for Dim Sum, where I deemed him safe enough to sleep on my couch. He was a great guest and really went out on his own to explore (I had work and rehearsal nearly the whole time he was here). Check out his blog: www.themeehangdynasty.wordpress.com

I renewed my visa today. Once again on the form, I found the marital status section mildly offensive in a humorous way, as the options were Married, Divorced, Widowed, or SPINSTER.
It was actually "Bachelor/Spinster"...this is linguistically unfair. Men are bachelors...they're sexy and eligible. Women are spinsters...drab and smell like cat litter.

It's Typhoon season! There's one happening right now. I went to the gym, it was closed, and on the walk home, I saw a heavy bus stop sign fall inches away from an innocent passer by.
We've had a few photo shoots for the new Penguin show---I'll put more up, but here's a sneak peak:

Flashback

2009-09-05T09:38:00.004+08:00

There's a real post below this one, but I totally forgot to embarrass my siblings with a picture our former and beloved babysitter just posted to facebook. I want all those not yet connected to that network to enjoy them:

I may look cute, but it was just a clever disguise to balance my severe annoyingness:

And So Off

2009-09-05T08:51:00.007+08:00

"My husband is a banana, so I have to use English a lot at home."
A woman said this to me last night at the gym. This is an example of how people use fruits and various other foods to illustrate racial realities and affiliations. Everyone here calls me an egg. A banana is someone who is "yellow" on the outside and "white" on the inside. I am an egg--the opposite of a banana. This isn't contained to Asia. In college, I tutored an American Indian student in French. She said she had a hard time fitting in with her tribe because everyone called her an apple.
I'm sure if I were an anthropologist, I could comment more profoundly. A banana and an egg may not be the best culinary combination, but it strangely makes sense on a relational level.
But let's go back in time again. Before I set off for Switzerland, I had the great joy of seeing my students perform Seussical: The Musical.

This is Yee Sin, who went from having one line in the last play, to a lead role with several solos in Seussical:

Horton the Elephant:

And the only photo I have of me with the director, Matthew (and Inga):

Also at the gym last night, my favorite aerobics instructor (mom and dad, you know her) told me that my shoulders are suddenly very toned. The only explanation (because regular exercise certainly isn't the reason) is the new penguin suit I have. This thing is much heavier than last year's version. To move the fins takes some serious power, and since I need to accustom myself to the limited mobility of the suit, I find myself wearing it often. And tap dancing in it often. So to anyone out there working hard to get toned shoulders, just get yourself a heavy penguin suit and do at least 100 flipper raises 5 days a week.

And So On

2009-08-30T00:35:00.004+08:00

Upon return to Hong Kong, the first thing I noticed was a major change to the train system. It's still taking me time to adjust. However, I went clothes shopping today and a salesgirl approached me with a particular item and said, "This one we have in big size," followed by a sweet smile and an affirming nod. Glad to know that some things never change. I think I've lost about 15 pounds since I moved here, but I'm still a giant. Shoes are worse. I wear a size 8 1/2 which most stores here don't even carry because that so ridiculously huge that Guinness should probably call me soon. Mom--send shoes. Anything except those creepy feet slippers you always wore in the early 90s. Flats, so the men I date aren't intimidated by my stature.

So now on to more pertinent and universally fascinating issues. The new TIE team has assembled and completed one week of rehearsals. We have Lindsey from South Dakota and Michael from Australia. We work so well together--Lindsey's amazing with characters, Michael is jumping in with the choreography. I'm there, too. I want to rename us "The Hong Kong Danger Duo"...youtube it.

And now, more retrospection. Alert readers will remember that my original plan was to visit Alison in Switzerland, then go to Scotland to visit the incomparable Mark. Mark, unfortunately, was diagnosed with the A1H1 strain of flu, commonly known as Swine Flu by everyone except people in Hong Kong and hog farmers. So I skipped my return flight to London and stayed with Alison. I didn't have a plan on how I would get back to London, but as we said whenever it came up, "Future Camber will figure that out." And she did...I took a lovely train from Geneva to Paris. Once I got there, I had about 12 hours to get to London in time for my flight to Chicago. No problem, it's not far. People have been known to swim across that thing. However, at the station, I searched for trains to London, only to discover that there aren't any. Had I not been able to speak French, I may still be wandering the streets of Paris. I asked around and someone told me that there are trains to London from the other station. Of course. So I got on the Metro and went to the other station and found a train to London leaving in about an hour. I decided to walk around the city. When I exited the station, I actually thought (in my sleep-deprived delusional state) that there had been a terrible mistake and I was in India. I still can't prove that I wasn't, except for the France passport stamp, which I guess is pretty solid.
On the train, I sat by a handsome and charming laser guy from Colorado, now doing a masters in Laser stuff at Princeton, with a summer internship in Europe. It's almost like we're twins, really.
We arrived in London, unscathed by our trip from Paris or India, and parted ways. I took the tube to Heathrow, where I half-slept/half-kept watch of my 'valuables' for about 6 hours until I could check in. The flight to Chicago seemed so short compared to HK flights. Plus, I sat by a guy who travels internationally with race horses. At the airport was the surprise of all surprises. I had expected that my mom would be there to collect me, but it was The Mother, The, Dad, Ann Coultas, and Daniel Coultas! They had even considered bringing a life-size cardboard cut-out of Barack Obama.
After lunch and much joyous reverie, mom, Ann, and I set out for South Dakota. I'm feeling I'm getting long-winded, so I'll quickly summarize in photographs the fantastic American tour.

I met up with Amber, poet:

Pat, Ann, and I went to Pipestone, MN, also known as Piperock:

Nikki had a birthday. The three roommates from 07-08 reunited for the first time since our dispersal in May 08. We had a thing when we lived together that whenever one of us shouted out "Trigonometry", all three would unite in the kitchen and strike the below pose. It was a glorious effort for us, with hectic schedules, to at least see eachother sometimes:

Of course, South Dakota's main attraction, Grandma, after treating us at Pizza Ranch:

I flew from South Dakota to Phoenix, where I stayed with Kristen (an SD friend) and had dinner with her and Kent, yet another SD friend. They showed me a giant cactus and helped me carry things:

Sorry for the long post, I should probably get away from the computer and go for a run so people will stop pointing out the big sized clothes to me.

Around the World in 13 Days...part 1

2009-08-27T17:38:00.007+08:00

With time off between contracts, and a severe itch to get away from the pollution and slow walkers of Hong Kong, I embarked on an epic journey to Switzerland to visit my friend Alison. First stop, Zurich:

Alison is living in Ermatingen, a small town about a 90 minute train ride from Zurich. The main attraction:

We explored Zurich, Switzerland's largest city, upon arrival. The next day, we walked the entire area of Ermatingen in about an hour, including the time we took to feed the sheep. Basically, small-town Switzerland is like a sophisticated vintage cartoon:

I took a ridiculous amount of pictures, so instead of attempting to post them here, I'll just plan to host a slideshow next time I'm in the U.S. I'll somehow force all my estranged neighbors to come to it and feed them cheese on toothpicks while I spew interesting annecdotes about the Swiss Confederation. Do people still do that? I remember being dragged to one when I was a kid. Apparently, it scarred me for life because I keep talking about it.

Anyway, Ermatingen is really close to the German border, so we walked across to the charming German town of Konstanz. There's no border control there, so it felt really rebellious to do so. And the obligatory photo of one foot in Switzerland, one in Germany:

On Day 3, we took a train to two other quaint towns, where I bought chocolate and took more pictures, including this one of the largest waterfall in Europe:

We had an interesting time getting to and from this waterfall. It may or may not have involved missing a couple trains, a bus, unnecessary running, and a fear of missing the all-important train to Geneva, which we did, but were able to take another one later. That night, we made it to Lousanne, which is on the French side (definitely a linguistic plus for me), where we basically climbed a mountain to get to our hotel.
We trekked through Lousanne the next morning--I love this city--historically preserved with an artistic and youthful vibe. Later on, we went to Geneva, where Alison, photographer extraordinaire, took pictures for an X-games type event. I went off to check out the sights. First on my list was of course the UN European headquarters:

So much more to talk about, but I need to go. Rehearsal tonight for "Millie"--5 more weeks to opening night!

Parental Invasion: Part Five, the Final Quest

2009-08-04T01:29:00.004+08:00

Great risk accompanies the confusion of the captions of the following photos, so I'll summarize them and leave it to the reader to decide what is what.
I took the parentals to Lantau, home of the Big Buddha, which is an epic experience until you learn that it was built in 1996. Two of the three Carpenters present climbed the steps; we counted the steps using our knowledge of multiplication.
The, Dad, and I also went on a journey to the Wisdom Path, which you may think is grand until you learn it was built in 2005. You will notice a photo of The, Dad, in deep and great thought. Serendipitously, at the Path, we met a girl with whom I did a homeless ministry a few weeks ago. None of the below photos contain her. There are, I believe two stunning photos of docile bovines.
I've been to Lantau several times, but never had seen such creatures. They were in full force and caused our bus driver to avert collisions on two occasions.

The next set of photos includes a shot of all of us in the village of Mui Wo on Lantau Island, taken by a friendly Aussie who had a barbecue during the typhoon.
There's also an artsy one of a lighthouse. The, Dad and I ventured to this place in Macau. I'm not sure we ever told The Mother, but we got somewhat lost as we descended from this elevated location. We ended up on a jogging trail, which we believed would eventually take us to where we had left The Mother, but instead we did a complete lap (over a mile) until we ascended the mount again and found the trail of rice we had so cleverly strewn. We followed it back to The Mother, who was not in the best form at that moment. However, I decided against photographing that moment; you will, however, notice a seemingly unstaged photo of them--all smiles, even The, Dad. I should get a medal. Another one is of them at the Venetian--a hotel in Macau that thinks it's in Venice. It even has canals and gondolas running through it. We went there to see Cirque du Soleil's Zaia.

I think The, Dad, took more photos, which I'm sure he'll upload and send to me just as soon as he figures out how. Experts are pegging mid-2013 for that one. Stay tuned.

Life returned to normal after their departure. There was even a rainbow:

I'm not suggesting their departure and the rainbow are connected, I'm just observing. Since then, Tim and I recorded the music for the new TIE shows, Vera had a birthday, we had two Seussical performances, I got 3 guy's numbers in one night--and it was a Wednesday (the taxidermist is out of the picture due to incompatibility), I've signed up to run a 10K race with Dragon, the guitar guy (mom and Paloma, you met him) in November, and also started "training," only I don't know what I'm doing, so I make it up.
I leave tomorrow night for Switzerland and Alisun! (Scotland is out due to swine flu, which has infected my friend, Mark, further strengthening my parents' suspicions that he doesn't exist) so I'll tag along with Alisun for a couple more days before taking off for the US (South Dakota only; sorry Illinois friends and readers)

I may not be able to blog for a couple weeks (grandma's internet is realllllly slow, so slow it's like it doesn't exist, much like my imaginary British friend, Mark.)

Parental Invasion: Part IV

2009-07-29T23:08:00.003+08:00

Extremely observant readers may note that the captions and pictures in the most recent post do not line up. We're experiencing a technical difficulty, which doesn't allow me to see the photos on which I am commenting. So now, I will continue to guess...

At this meal, which may or may not appear to be at an Outback Steakhouse, the manager offered a free brownie dessert if I would sing in Cantonese. I obliged and drew a crowd of servers and patrons alike:

We went to the Man Mo Temple, and hit a drum and a bell. Paloma demonstrates well:

The Mothers:

When dining on the streets of Hong Kong, you are always provided with toilet paper and an attractive backdrop of hair dryers:

We ate at this fabulous Thai restaurant a few hours before a typhoon. The Parentals slept through the strongest typhoon of the year:

You know it's a Thai restaurant because there's a picture of the king and queen of Thailand. The, Dad, loves a good monarchy:

More yet to come...stay tuned to see what happens when the parentals go to a former Portuguese colony.

Parental Invasion: Part Tres

2009-07-29T09:46:00.004+08:00

Spirits were high when we met Uncle Man at the Kowloon Walled City Park. He rips paper into amazing works of art. He also plays the flute and tries to match his clothes to The, Dad:

Olympic spirit is fervent yet!:

The likeness is uncanny. However, it also looks like all of The, Dad's look-a-likes, most especially Captain Ahab:

Uncle Man insisted on taking many photos of us. He was our Wednesday Hero:

He got really into it:

After such excitement, Paloma, Mama, and I took the Star Ferry back to Hong Kong Island as my parentals went for a white suit fitting:

Don't be deceived with the ending of this post; the misadventures will continue for several more days...but for now, I have to actually go to work. We recorded all the music for the new elementary school show yesterday. Today, we're preparing music to record tomorrow.

I got my hair cut last night. I like to practice my Cantonese is every situation, so I told the stylist, "I like your hair," only I think he understood me to say "Cut my hair just like your hair". And then as I was going home, I saw two mulletts. I've seen only one mullett since moving here 11 months ago. Two in one night, within the space of an hour, was an epic experience.

Parental Invasion: Part Two (in pictures)

2009-07-29T09:17:00.010+08:00

Let's begin this pictorial review with a classic shot of the parentals trying desperately not to look awkward with a wax statue of Michael Jackson:

Usually, when I made them wait, this is what it looked like:

As much as Barack Obama is trying, some things will never change.

Dad impressed the masses with his new-found prowess on a digital camera:

We took a somewhat dubious sampan (boat) from one part of Cheung Chau to another. The Mother was not in attendance for this segment:

This was taken by our single-serving Texas friends. I somehow was stuck talking to the Texas Dad for an hour while his hottie sons entertained my parents. When will the injustice cease?:

Paloma and her mom arrived and the first thing we did was go to this place. It's very famous:

Hong Kong is full of frightening dragons:

Blogger is experiencing some problems, so I'm prematurely giving up on this post. Stay tuned for Part Three.

Parental Invasion

2009-07-21T17:22:00.004+08:00

Alert readers may be aware that the Carpenter parental units recently came (and more recently left) my sphere of reality in Hong Kong. They required a little extra care and supervision than most travellers, which left no time for blogging.
In short, they did quite well--after the first few days.
The, Dad had a white suit tailor-made for him. This is the start of a new career as a Mark Twain impersonator.
The Mother learned that she cannot stand "the heat" --or uneven walking surfaces, or long-distance walking, or standing in an immigration line for an hour. Travel really is all about self discovery.
It was fun to have them here and show them off to various friends--it was particularly grand when two amazing ladies from Spain were here, Paloma and her mom, Maria. One special moment was when we wanted to try bamboo juice, only I didn't know the word for 'bamboo' in Cantonese, so I kept asking the people at the juice bar (in Cantonese, aiyah!): "You know pandas? Pandas eat this. Panda food juice?"--all the while using my fists to create panda ears on myself. Eventually someone in the next stall intervened and we got our juice.
I'll put up a pictorial review of the last 2 weeks as soon as I feel like it.
Now I have about 2 weeks until I get my own vacation: Zurich to see Alison, photographer extraordinaire, Scotland to visit Mark, witty and stylish pilot/cineaste, Chicago for an epic roadtrip with The Mother and anyone else brave enough to endure such an escapade, South Dakota to visit the Grandys and many dear friends, and finally Phoenix to see Kristen and Kent, cancer researcher and professional trumpet player, respectively--and newly engaged. All that packed in less than 2 weeks. Should be grand.
But until then, I'll keep you abreast (hehehe) of happenings in Hong Kong and a retrospective look at the Parental visit.

It's a Grand Illusion

2009-07-07T09:23:00.002+08:00

It seems as though the people of Hong Kong have little or no interest in the American Independence Day. You'd think Americans would have a kinship with Hong Kongers--ah, yes, we've all been a British colony at one point--but no. The only evidence I saw of 4th of July festivities was a severely drunk woman wearing a foam Statue of Liberty hat, stumbling home (I assume and hope) at 10am on July 5th.

I spent the day at a bookstore doing a performance of "Penguin". I had to wrangle innocent bystanders in--even a former student, Baloo the Bear, was in attendance. There was one unruly audience member who kept shouting things at us, like "Punch him out!" or "The smoke is coming out of the pipe! Just turn it off!"--There's no pipe, kid, this is theatre, it's smog caused by human activity, come on! I think my favorite was when he told Eric, "You look like a girl!" Which, in Eric's defense, he was not in his usual attire, but in a dress and curly blond wig.
After the show, he was being annoying again, so I made him deflate our giant globe, which he couldn't do properly, so as I helped him, I asked him his name and how old he is...the answer "10.9"
In my family, we have a running list of traits of annoying kids. Declaring an age using fractions (and, let's add decimals now) is on the list. I mentioned something about his birthday must be fast approaching and he said, "November! Come to my birthday party!" And after more banter (mostly my attempt to observe more traits), he had to leave, which of course he refused to do until McDonald's was used as leverage, and upon his departure, "Don't forget to come to my birthday party!"

The Parental Units arrive on Friday night this week, and the suspense is unbearable. In case they're reading this, I attempted to email both your itinerary and character sketches of people you will meet, but my gmail will not open, so I will send them first thing tomorrow morning (Tuesday night for you)...print and memorize.

As for other news, I have travel plans--Switzerland, England, Chicago, South Dakota, and Phoenix...between August 5 and 17. It shall be a whirlwind, but worth it to see friends, family and hit restart before coming back to Hong Kong for an extremely busy fall season of TIE (all the shows postponed due to the PANDEMIC and rehearsing with the new actors)

Also, have I mentioned that whenever I tell a Hong Konger that my surname is Carpenter, the response is always along the lines of "We've only just begun" or "Now and Then." I think The Carpenters are better known here than Elvis.
Or maybe despite the fact that I live in the future, pop culture from 1970s America is just now hitting in Hong Kong.

Vandalay Industries, how may I help you?

2009-06-29T10:10:00.003+08:00

My grandma thinks my friend is a taxidermist.
I told her that I don't think the job of taxidermy is possible in Hong Kong. What would you stuff, the giant cockroaches? There's no need to mount the lizards on my wall, they're pretty much stagnant when they're alive. And if I make a comment about dogs again, it will be my head for sure.
I angered a neo-Nazi the other night. After step class at the gym, the instructor and I went to 7-11 to get a soy milk and talk outside the store for a while. Mid-conversation, I audibly gasped, pointed and shouted, "A rat!" The rat had a collar and was followed by a giant white man with a shaved head. He gave me the stink eye and moved along peacefully--for now.
Deirdre, I think playing a tuba in an elf costume will help me fit in even more than I already do. You see, my Cantonese is improving so much, that people are starting to ask if I'm from Hong Kong or mixed or something. I'm definitely mixed, but we all already knew that. By the way, you're a gem and a poetic force.
The reason I haven't written a blog in so long is of course due to the untimely death of Michael Jackson, which left me, for several days, completely immobile from shock and subsequent depression. The good part of all this is the increased use of MJ music in stores, cafes, etc. And they aired "Michael Jackson's Ghosts" on an HK TV station----ummm....yeah. Anyone?
The countdown to the arrival of the parental units is under 2 weeks now, and Hong Kong is shivering with antici

pation.

Also, the arrival of my friend Paloma and her mama will soon occur and my excitement cannot be contained! We will have much fun. However, Hong Kong severely lacks in the cereal department. We make up for it in the squid and chicken feet department, so no worries.

Rainy season is upon us, and with that comes typhoons. We've had a couple wimpy ones so far...only T1 and T3. It must reach a T8 to close businesses and schools.
Schools. All primary schools were closed a month early to prevent the spread of A-H1N1. Of the 15 shows TIE had scheduled for June/July, 12 were post-poned due to the outbreak. We did 2 shows last Friday to a group of 500 students all required to wear masks.
In the meantime, we're writing new scripts and music for next year. They will be epic. And we have a new TIE team assembled for next year. Michael from Australia and Lindsey, our very own from South Dakota. I'm very much looking forward to working with them.
Also in the news is Millie, the musical I'm doing. We're running into some opposition, which I won't get into now, but it's negative publicity, which is usually the best publicity, just ask Allen Ginsberg. Except you can't ask Ginsberg because he died over 10 years ago. He did, however, save his electricity bills and fingernail clippings in manila envelopes--you know, for posterity.

The Imperative Blog

2009-06-15T16:03:00.004+08:00

As I hovered over the toilet in my Japanese supermarket, I received a call from Allan. I don't know Allan, which exponentially increases the awkwardness of a toilet conversation. Allan, I now know, is the director of a musical for which I auditioned last week. He cast me as a lead role! I am elated. I expressed this elation to him and he continued with an observation that I would be "perfect" for this role. This role is a complete freak. A nutcase. An absolutely ridiculous specimen. And I'm "perfect" for it. I'm going to beat you to the "type-casting" jokes, Devon.
This is the show about the tap dancing and sex slavery, of which I believe my character participates only in the tap dancing. I believe.

My tuba has arrived. I can make a noise on it, but I may need some basic instruction, as every note I play sounds the same. I think I have to wear an elf costume and play at holiday functions this winter or something.

Now, I rarely complain, but for the last week, they have been "renovating" the apartment directly above mine. This translates to incessant jackhammering. It's not just annoying loud--it's to the point where I should wear protective gear for my ears. I know I usually exaggerate, but this time I'm not. The reverberations cause bits of my ceiling to fall onto the floor. Also, it so happened that the day they started the jackhammering, the electricity in half of my apartment went out. Just half. Coincidence? Not likely. Susan Boyle sang on Britain's Got Talent---the H1N1 pandemic began. What I'm saying is, coincidences don't happen. I finally collected the courage to go up and confront the offenders today. It didn't go well. It was my first go at describing a lack of electricity in Cantonese, which was a rousing success, but in the end, the "master" just looked at my fuse box and tracked carcinogenic dust into my place.

One more pressing issue. Deodorant. In Hong Kong, there are two undesirable options. Spray on and roll on. I nixed the spray long ago, due to its harshness. Here's my problem with the roll-on. The way the roll-on works is that the ball rolls into the deodorizing substance, then can be applied to the appropriate area to be deodorized. However, when the deodorizing substance sinks to a level below the reach of the ball--it is necessary to do a back bend, hold the deodorant upside-down, and apply. In doing said back bend in the non-air conditioned environment of my apartment, more deodorizing substance is required. It's a vicious circle.

This is what happens when I don't have much to talk about, but am required by my Dad's indigestion and/or lack of fiber to write a blog.

Horton is Not a Gay Elephant

2009-06-05T23:19:00.003+08:00

I'm still being proactive about not taking a camera anywhere with me. See how I twisted my forgetfulness into pro-activity? Everyday, I feel more and more confident that there is a place for me in American politics.
That said, I have begun Putonghua (Mandarin) lessons in earnest. According to Man, I can have a stimulating conversation in Mandarin with a block of wood. Watch out, in a few weeks, it might be with a single-celled organism. It's difficult to learn two different Chinese languages at the same time. Difficult, yet effective. Some words are very similar, but the speech patterns or perhaps "accent" is completely different. My Mandarin teacher has to keep telling me to stop speaking Mandarin like I'm a Cantonese speaker. This may be the first time I've ever been accused of being too Canto.
Last week, I went up to near the Chinese border to cook a meal at a develop mental home. It was a project for the church outreach team. The most fascinating thing was the fact that Valerie and Wendy, the British women in their mid-70s who run the place, can speak Cantonese to their residents. For one thing, I don't see very many old timer British people in HK at all. Most of them went back to the Isle in 1997 China took HK back. On top of that, they can speak Cantonese, which is basically unheard of for British people. Not to stereotype or anything.
I have several auditions for extracurricular theatre in the next two weeks. A slew of musicals...Millie, Sweeney Todd, and Aladdin. Unfortunately, I have only one day to prep for Millie. I thought I knew the story (that there wasn't one, but lots of tap dancing)...until I wikipedia-ed it and discovered that an old lady kidnaps adult orphans and tries to sell them as sex slaves in China...and Julie Andrews was in this? I'm still going to audition. I'm actually more intrigued. Like I always say, nothing goes together like tap dancing and sexual slavery. Apparently.
I'm taking leave between Aug.2 and Aug.19--at this point, I know not where the winds of travel will take me. I shall begin accepting bids.

Singing with the Dragon

2009-05-29T23:43:00.002+08:00

For some unknown reason, Matthew entrusted a cast of "Seussical" to my charge for an educational expo. They performed the first three songs of the show in snazzy bright orange polos.
I can't arrange the photos, I think because my aerobics instructor sent me a virus, so here they are in a lump. I hope:

The one with a kid and me was taken by his mother. She wanted a picture with me and I told her that my mom probably would want one too. Some things are universal.

I saw Seussical at my university a few years ago, but I didn't really get it. I wasn't too hard on myself, though, realizing that a bona fide Doctor wrote the literature on which Seussical is based.

I crooned (not coronered) again at the posh wine bar. I can't wait to take my parents there in July. They will feel so comfortable and at home. Romain and Nicole (two French friends) came to support, so I sang Autumn Leaves partly in French for them. It was a little nerve-wracking. With non-French people, I can fake it and no one is the wiser, but with legit French people, I actually have to say the correct French words, not mumbling with a French accent. Romain said it's his favorite song and he understood every word. Elvis and Michael (potentially a potential) also came out and as I sat there with the 4 of them, I realized that I was the only one whose native tongue is English...but the language of the evening was, of course, English. What a bully my language is.

I also auditioned for The Merchant of Venice, but the director, with great remorse, was unable to offer me a part. However, I will be learning how to play the tuba for a holiday band this year. Everything in life evens out.

So, You're Like Zac Efron.

2009-05-21T00:16:00.001+08:00

Above is a photo of the cast of "A Night on Broadway," the adult musical produced by the studio where I work. When I say "adult" musical, I do not use the term in the same way American video stores use the term. I could tell it was an adult musical the moment we entered the theatre and I didn't have to tell any of the actors to stop running, jumping, or hitting each other.
Matthew added me to the cast a couple of weeks ago to fill in for someone who had a work conflict. I sang "The Color Purple" which was fun, but the best part was being on-stage with my friend, Angel. She sang a rousing rendition of "Thank You for the Music" from Mama Mia.

Friend support was at a high: Joan, Vera, Tim, Nicole, and Cara all came out.
Kazumi (my roommate, for those just joining the jocularity of AaWaE) and her boyfriend, Kenall.
Of course, my grandma was in the 3rd row, center.
Elvis and company were there. He always travels with an entourage. He even brought people who had never met me. But of course we all went out to eat after--about 13 of us. One of them was Michael, who is also a magician. He dazzled us all with his mind-blowing illusions. Elvis wants to be a tour guide for my mom and dad when they visit in July. I think it's a stellar idea.

At Last

2009-05-15T01:25:00.005+08:00

My dream of being a crooner has finally come to fruition. After a day of conceptualizing and writing synopsis for two new shows for next year, my first Putongua class, and a rehearsal for the cabaret musical, I stopped by the wine bar where my friend/church organist plays. It's the only really good live music I've found so far in HK, and Cedric (the pianist, who for the record and to quench the curiosity of my family, will NOT be participating in the "potentials" reality show to be held in July) planned several English songs for tonight. I met the other combo members--wildly talented oboist/singer and guitarist. They showed me the songs they were going to play and when I saw "Fly Me to the Moon," I expressed great delight:

"That's by far my favorite jazz standard."
Cedric: "Okay, you will sing that one."
"What? No, that's really ok."

After hearing several amazing renditions of some classics, Gordon the Oboist announced:
"And now, we have a special guest from Chicago to sing our next piece."
Cedric added:
"Her brother went to the same school as LeBron James!" (This inaccurate statement is residue from a misunderstanding in the far distant past.)

After an intro like that, I really had no choice but to sing--thus fulfilling my latent dream to be a crooner. I plan to sing with them again; next time in Cantonese, which will fulfill yet another hitherto unrealized dream.

Do you have your costumes? Do you have the swine flu?

2009-05-11T23:52:00.004+08:00

Nothing really beats a deportation blog, so I'm not even going to try.
I have no pictures this time because I'm going through an I'm-Not-A-Tourist phase again. It's working out well. I'm finally able to communicate with the people who work at the noodle shop near my apartment.
Speaking Canto with my friends is one thing, because they know what I say all the time and can speak English to help out. These ladies don't speak a word of English, so I'm on my own. I refrained from patronizing the noodle shops in the past due to the language barrier. I have an unfounded fear that people will spit in my food if I don't speak Cantonese. That's the main reason I'm trying to learn the language; decrease saliva intake.
The pertinent information in AsWaE is never ending.
Life updates--
I'm filling a void in a cabaret-style show next week, the 19th. If you're in town, don't miss it. I sing a solo that only a robust African-American woman should sing. I also play the sister of a Chinese girl about a foot shorter than I. Who came up with the term "suspension of disbelief"?

It's official: I'm staying with Dramatic English for another year! Upcoming projects shall be grand.

The, Dad and The Mother plan to visit Hong Kong in July. I spend nearly every free moment planning their itinerary and trying to figure out if HK is NYC on steroids or Valium.

Speaking of steroids, another "potential" suitor of the moment is what I would call a body-building enthusiast. This is not the reason he has "potential," and is in fact a bit of a deterrent.

I went to Lamma, the island with unwashed washed-up hippies (and Tim) to see some dragon boat races, but we were distracted by a hummus cafe and missed all the races.

I'm assistant directing Seussical--The Musical! with the incomparable Mr. Matthew. Our group will be featured at an upcoming education exhibition or something soon. They'll have an audience of over 400, so we're working them hard to get them ready.

I'm starting Putongua lessons this week at the same place I do Cantonese.

My friend Rita who is living in Beijing was planning to visit last weekend, but she had to cancel due to the swine flu.

I can recognize and write about 50 characters. I proudly disclosed this information to a technician for one of our shows, but the pride quickly gave way to desperation when he told me that there are about 10,000 characters. Only 9,950 to go.

Denied! And BUNS!

2009-05-05T08:25:00.007+08:00

I hesitate to tell this story, for it necessarily makes me appear quite irresponsible, but the humour of it all is too much to keep to myself.
For the May Day holiday, a group of us planned a trip to Macau. Tim and the Irish girls were to jump off the Tower, we would see Cirque du Soleil, and then dance the night away.
I used my smart HK ID card to exit Hong Kong, but when I reached Macau immigration, they required a passport, which I had left in the safety of my apartment.
Upon hearing this news, a uniformed officer quickly escorted me into the questioning room where despite my pleading, I was told that I must go back to Hong Kong. I was unable to reach my friends by telephonic communication, which upset me greatly, so my new Immigration Officer friend took me outside and I told Joan and Tim the whole story. I’m pretty sure Tim was laughing when I turned around and went back to the Holding Room to hang out with the drug dealers. I wanted so badly to ask the guy next to me, “What are you in for?” but I figured something would be lost in translation. After about 45 minutes of being detained, another officer escorted me onto a HK-bound ferry where he made sure I did not attempt to flee.
Calculations revealed that I would not have time to go back to HK, collect my passport from my apartment, and take another ferry back to Macau to see Cirque. As my heart sank, I remembered that I have an awesome roommate. Kazumi met me at the ferry with my passport and after profuse thanks, I ran back and managed to jump on the next ferry. It was in fact the very same vessel, for when I boarded one man said, “Hey, it’s you again!” and another said (in Chinese), “That’s the white girl who speaks Cantonese.” Yes, I practice at any and every opportunity.
I arrived in Macau for the second time that day 45 minutes before the start of Cirque. I met the group and we took a couple of taxis to The Venetian to see Cirque du Soleil’s “Zaia." It was spectacular, as expected. And all the music was LIVE. Hong Kong severely lacks in the use of live music anywhere, particularly for stage performances. It was grand.
After the show, we went dancing. I found some single-serving dance-floor friends and immediately impressed them with my Cantonese, which according to the most attractive one was “so (expletive) good!”. It's really not, but I'm not going to kill his dream.

I got back to Hong Kong at about 4:30 the next afternoon after sleeping in one of those Japanese pod things. I rushed home and immediately back out to catch a bus to the ferry pier to Cheung Chau. Yes, it was the day of the world-famous BUN FESTIVAL. I met Matty, Meaghan, Chris (juggler, not gym guy)and Lawrence to go to the island. There, we walked around to view the spectacle. Unlike my deportation adventure, I have photographic evidence of this escapade (they don’t allow cameras in Immigration Interview Rooms).

Above: The BUN TOWER!! In Cantonese it is roughly "Bao Shan" or Bun Mountain.

Some of us with the BUN TOWER!: me, Matty,Meaghan, and Lawrence
The BUNS close up.

A busy BUN bakery. The line to this place was epically long.

There is a purpose to this festival. It involves a god of the sea and eating the essence of the buns. Clearly, I'm an expert on this. Here's some video footage of the main event:

Yes, so they climb up the tower and throw as many buns as possible into their dorsal bags. This is why I love Hong Kong. And of course, we each ate a bun. I chose a fresh one rather than one that had been sitting out for several days for the gods to eat. Proud, Mother?

They also had Cantonese Opera:

Lion Dances:

And it was a public holiday for Buddha's Birthday, so some Buddhist stuff:

But the ubiquitous BUN remained the hero of the day:

They had special ferry services to accomodate the 20,000+ people who went to Cheung Chau (the island usually has only about 2,000), so I didn't get stuck this time. Elvis joined us later and we visited Mah Mah again. No pictures because she was already in her pajamas. In line for the ferry home:

These giant papier mache guys were there too:

Two Bowls of Painful

2009-04-26T23:09:00.006+08:00

Many "firsts" have happened in Hong Kong: recording a hip hop song, rolling a giant ball down the highway, swearing in Chinese, and ingestion of chicken feet just to name a few. And now we add to that list: survival of my first loathsome disease.

I contracted some sort of respiratory infection which I, in true Carpenter form, pointedly ignored for several days. The day I decided to see the doctor, something of a medical miracle occurred. As I drew close to the doctor's office, my symptoms quickly and mysteriously diminished. I think that the aura of Dr. Kam Yue was so strong that it reached me before I even entered his office. Nevertheless, I went in and paid less than $8US for consultation and 3 different medications (which they have directly at the doc-o-man's office). 'Doc-o-man' is how we say "doctor" in my family. It's a bit sexist, but we're generally not concerned with political correctness.

Anyway, back to the excitement of my affliction. I tried to heal myself with soup one night, only to discover that my stove is broken. So I went out to buy soup. Soup in Canto is "tong," but I forgot which tone. When my "tong" was met with a confused look, I said "tong" in every possible tone. Therefore, I asked for 2 bowls of 'sugar,' 'rubbish bin,' 'painful,' and probably other stuff too.

I went to far northwest HK to load a truck with chairs, clothes, school supplies, and toys to be sent to Kazakhstan. They basically collect donations and send things out where people need it. It was the first project for the new "outreach" group that I helped to start at my church. Our group after we finished packing the semi:

The guy on the far left with the pink shirt used to be in a gospel rock band and once shared a stage with U2. "They were on the way up and we were definitely on the way out." Hip dude.

Tim, Man, and I recorded a CD (music and poetry) which will accompany a new English language book Man wrote. I can start taking orders now.

Last week we finally had our first voice recording for "Hollywood Road," the film where I'm a sarcastic florist. I probably last mentioned this in October. Things are moving now.

At last, I met my neighbor. His name is Boon and he's old, which is great because geriatrics are cool.

I met with my tutee at--get this---Choco Cat Cafe. Devon, get over here. This cafe specializes in chocolate and has about 10 cats roaming freely. They also have a giant stuffed Garfield. Unfortunately, I can't ever go back there because I picked up a cat, which I now know is against Cat Cafe law.

Yesterday, I went on a bike ride with a potential suitor, Chris. We biked about 10km to this place, Ma On Shan ('horse mountain', I think):

And post-ride:It was not Halloween, but 80s night. The picture really says it all:

Singapore, Or "Shoot that where?"

2009-04-16T09:19:00.008+08:00

Fact: Chewing gum is illegal in Singapore, punishable by a hefty $1000 fine.
Joan and I ceremoniously discarded our Orbit, along with all other illegal items of which we were in possession, at the KL airport.
The iconic symbol of Singapore is this:The Merlion. Half-lion, half-fish. It was created in 1972, which seems young to be iconic, but this is how tourism survives--make something up, take enough pictures and voila, you have an instant cultural attraction. This is representative of the fishing past of the city and the legend that someone saw a lion there once, granting the name "Lion City" to the republic. Singapore is a city-state, with a president who lives in what appears to be a jungle.

On our first day in Singapore, we went to the zoo, proud care-takers of my favorite primate, the Orang Utan.

They had this informative sign, talking about how each orang utan (which means "wild man" in Malay) is unique. My favorite was Satria, who often refuses to go back to his night quarters. Perhaps he needs to set some goals. After the day at the zoo, we went on a "night safari" which is riding a tram through another, different, zoo-type thing in the dark. After that, we killed some time before our bus departure by seeing a fire show. We watched as men in tribal Malay garb breathed fire and swallowed fire. Soon, they had opened the gate and pulled me onto the stage. In no time, I was holding a long spear, surrounded by 3/4 naked sweaty fire-breathers. Fairly typical at this point. I, of course, threatened to dismember them with the spear they had bestowed upon me. They recoiled and indicated that the spear was a blow-dart and I was to shoot the dart near the nether-region of a fellow tribesman, in a effort to pop a balloon which he had placed there. I indicated my reluctance, but they assured me that they would guide it.
Photographic evidence is unavailable at this time, as all pictures are on Joan's camera. I believe she took a plethora.
This place advertised a pink dolphin show:We settled for pink jellyfish:Japanese Something Crab. And Joan:White tiger on the prowl:Hanging out with giant fruit:

Almost every neighborhood in Singapore looks like this architecturally:Hindu temple; we don't have these in Hong Kong. I have seen innumerable Buddhist temples, but this was a first:And at night:Speaking of religious places, this mosque was just down the block from our hostel in Little India:
Speaking of Little India, Singapore's is legit. In our quest to find authentic Singaporean cuisine, we pretty much just ate curry and masala.

The second day, we toured the city, ate at Chocolate by the Bald Man (NYCers know), and went out dancing that night.

The last day, we went to Sentosa Island, just south of Singapore. We did touristy things, and then relaxed on a beach until we went to a show that night:
Considering my geographical obsession, imagine my excitement when I saw this sign:On the bridge:

Back in Singapore that night, we tried to cross another bridge:

If our cattle and horses can't come with us, no one goes. And we weren't sure if we exceeded 3cwt and didn't want to risk it.

Then we found some friends:

Our last morning in Singapore, taken in front of The Countryside Cafe, where we befriended the staff and ate several meals and had a Singapore Sling:

Laurence Olivier VS The, Dad

2009-04-15T13:41:00.006+08:00

SINGAPORE post coming soon, probably tomorrow.

For now, a story, which I already reported to my sister via the spacebook.

This morning, I woke up and realized it was getting too late at night to call my grandma to inform her of my safe arrival. I quickly threw wrinkled, yet semi-clean clothes and a hat to cover my mangled and on the verge of greasy hair. I brushed my teeth quickly, inadvertantly leaving toothpaste on my face and bolted to the elevator (I still have no internet, and must go to a cafe to write magic like this). The lift stopped on floor 19 and a dashing young man entered. He commented on my hip headgear and we bonded until the ground floor. He told me his English name was Laurence because he likes Laurence Olivier:

"My dad looks like Laurence Olivier."

"No way! He must be very handsome."
"Well, more like the 1980s King Lear Olivier."

Malaysia, Or "Where'd you get those glasses?"

2009-04-15T12:00:00.006+08:00

Joan and I set out on our excellent adventure after work on Thursday. We first sailed the high seas to the land of Macau, taxi to the "aeroporto" (this was a Portuguese colony), only to discover our flight was delayed. We took the time to find internet and book a hostel for that night. A 3 -hour flight later, we landed at the Kuala Lumpur (KL) airport, which is actually a Morrison building. We split a taxi, or "tecksi" in Malay, with a self-important Canadian banker from HK for the 73km ride into the city. We dropped him off at his posh hotel and then the driver had a difficult time finding our humble accommodation. Around 2am, we arrived at this beautiful place:This innovated design combines a shower and sink in one easy-to-use facility:We weren't sure, so we ate Corn Flakes:Malaysia is a strongly Muslim country, and this was the first time I'd ever visited one. I was initially apprehensive--mostly a fear of being feared, but that proved to have no grounds, as no one ever seemed to judge the fact that Joan and I didn't have burkas on like every other woman in the city. I'm so thankful that the U.S. has a president with sympathies to--or at least an awareness of--the Muslim community.

Understanding is the essential first step to peace. We don't have to agree--I certainly don't agree with Islam, but ignorant hate on all sides cannot possibly end well. Malaysia, at least on the surface of Kuala Lumpur, seems to have the harmony thing (between Indians, Chinese, and Malays) working. And the food looks like this: Almost every meal looked identical to this. And is was delicious and cheap. The above cost the equivalent of 95 U.S. cents.

A minaret to call Muslims to pray:

The Petronas Towers. The tallest twin-towers IN THE WORLD!:
It was the tallest building from about 1998 to 2003 when Taipei 101 overtook it (and I hear that in a few years, there will be 7 buildings in Dubai taller than that). We even walked across that "Skybridge" between the towers:

We only had a few hours in KL before we needed to go back to the Morrison Building to fly to Singapore, so we did a "Hop On, Hop Off" bus tour. For a mere 38 ringgits (Malay currency), we hopped on a pink bus and periodically alighted, or hopped off, to see the sights. However when.we hopped off in Little India (which was not very Indian, except for a Bollywood song I heard coming out of a cycle shop), we were unable to locate the next place to hop on and ended up taking a tecksi back to the hostel, loading our belongings into the tecksi we had booked, and headed to the airport. En route, I practiced my Malay with the driver. My Malay consists of "please," "thank you" and "dugong", the three things which will get you by in any country.

But I get ahead of myself...more pictures, mostly from the bus.

For The, Dad. A sultan lives here:
For anyone who speaks French:
The Petronas towers as seen from "Little India" which wasn't Indian at all:

A street sign, for those who relish in the ordinary, but do not particularly like relish:Our budget airline, Air Asia, not only provided cheap flight for us (2 round-trip flights for under $300 US total), but also neat umbrellas for the walk in the rain to our plane to Singapore:

Listen to Me/Tim Turns 26/Boogie Down

2009-04-15T10:35:00.006+08:00

After a mere 5 months of rehearsal, the high school student musical finally went up in a Broadway-esque blaze of glory. I won't gush, for it is not in my nature and I also need to post about my recent trip, but I was extremely proud of all of them. A few of the actors and I after the final performance:I was "in charge" of the backstage crew, a superfluous position, as they are all, clearly, professionals:

The final pose of "All That Jazz":
A snippet of "Luck be a Lady," which they nailed at the final show:

End pose of "Money, Money" from "Cabaret." Expressive actors, eh?:

And a snippet of "Stud and Babe", a scene I had the privilege to direct. These two really stepped out of their comfort zone. The other cast members would always sit off-stage to watch:
I will really miss those students. When a huge group of screaming teens tackled me to express their thanks, it made it all worth while.

Tim, who is currently stuck in Thailand, celebrated his 26th last week. He got a little carried away with the cake:

Every time we go to a Taoist school, they have this engraving in the theatre. Invariably, it is beneath the screen we use, so I always ask him, "Oh, golden one, where is the screen?" He replies:Oh, it's up there. Thanks. This is the one Tim refers to as Jungle Boogie.

2009-04-06T22:05:00.003+08:00

For those of you thinking of names for children:
Eiffel
Sonic
Major
Tybalt

"Did you name yourself from a Romeo and Juliet character?"
"Yes! Yes!"
These were Taoist students today. Basically the only difference between the Taoist and Christian students is the uniform tie design. The Christians have a cross and the Taoists have the yin and yang symbols. I took a fantastic photo of some sort of gilded spiritual leader today. Tim calls it Jungle Boogie, which will likely come back to haunt him in his next life. As a dung beetle.

My only news is that Tuesday and Wednesday night, my students perform. I'm in charge of the backstage crew, helping with costume changes, set moving, and making sure the fly walls aren't attached to the floor when they fly.

Thursday night, Joan and I will begin our excellent adventure to.....MALAYSIA. We'll spend a day in Kuala Lumpur, where I will assuredly purchase spectacles, then fly to Singapore that night. We're kind of doing this on the fly, so I don't know the specific plan yet, but we're going to take a ferry to Bintan, an island of Indonesia, since apparently there's not much to see in Singapore. Under my mom's advice, I will need to behave in Singapore and try even harder not to get arrested. Chewing gum is illegal. Drug traffickers get the death penalty, so my mom suggested that I leave all my drugs at home. She is an ever-flowing wealth of advice.

I've been researching the political climate of Malaysia in preparation for the trip.
The fun never ceases---

I hate to be evasive...

2009-04-02T18:26:00.003+08:00

My dad refuses to let me evade my taxes this year, which while civically responsible is mildly annoying. After raking it in by scrubbing toilets last year, I'm sure I owe the American government a copious amount of money. I hope they give it to the AIG CEO--he needs a new chopper, really really badly.
Our accountant doesn't speak the English very well, so I'm having a hard time figuring out if/when/how I need to pay Hong Kong taxes. If I don't blog for a few weeks, I've been taken into custody by the HK police force. All will be well. I'll charm them with my Canto skills.

I received an email from a student who saw one of our shows and this is an exact quote:
"I was very impressed with your fluent Cantonese..."
FLUENT! That's right. Actually, that's flatly wrong, but at least I created an illusion. I'm an actor, that's my job.
So now I have a new tutee. I don't have any old tutees, so I guess I have my first tutee. Now I'm just typing "tutee" because it makes immature people like myself snicker.
Gary the Tutee and I will begin tutorial lessons in English starting after the Easter holiday. I will likely be going to Vietnam for Easter, which may not seem apropos, but if you've seen "Platoon" and remember Willem Defoe's character, it makes sense. No plans are set yet--Joan and I will go to a travel agent today to scour the cheap flights--to anywhere, really. Anywhere except Nebraska.
Quick list of memorable names of my dear "panel students":
Orange
Money
Michael 2.0
Nightmare
Fat Fat
Bunny A
--and those are just from today...

Stranded on a Populated Island

2009-03-29T21:30:00.006+08:00

The title may give away the punchline of this blog, but the entire experience is worth reading. Perhaps not, but I've posted many pictures for those of your strapped for time. Due to an excessive work-load for the week, the TIE team had Saturday off--my first since moving here, I believe. I took advantage of it and went on a day-trip to Cheung Chau, an outlying island, to visit Elvis' grandma. Yes, Elvis is back in the building. I always enjoy the signs:Like every island in Hong Kong, Cheung Chau's economic base is seafood. This is a fishing boat cleverly disguised as a spider. There are two giant nets on either side:I hiked this entire island with Joan about 6 months ago, so Mark (Elvis) and did the island from a new angle. It's still breathtaking:

Now you see why I call him Elvis:I requested that we rent bikes to ride around the island. He said we would go to a certain vendor because he will give him a special discount. He told Grandma, and she insisted she escort us because the vendor would give us an even bigger discount if she were along. I'm almost certain that Grandma chose that bike for me:A Cantonese opera was going on in a temporary bamboo and tin scrap metal building. It was some god's birthday celebration:Last time I went to Cheung Chau, Joan and I saw the priate cave but we didn't know we could go in. It looked so narrow, I thought I'd get stuck. All that aerobics has paid off and we made it through. You can't tell from the picture, but it was pitch black in there: We met up with several of Mark's friends that day. In the afternoon, Michael, and Jackson in the evening. I did not just make that up. Helping Michael out of the cave.This is a picture of a picture for my dad. It was a celebration for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, circa dated to early in her reign, perhaps the mid 1950s:Ancient rock carvings are apparently all over Hong Kong, but this is the first I've seen them. They all face the sea and were probably meant to bring favor from the ocean gods. Experts reckon these are 3,500 years old:Despite all of the above, the most popular attraction to Cheung Chau is the annual Bun Festival. Still one month away, these workers are building a structure that will ultimately be covered in buns which some brave youths will climb:Of course, one high-light for me was meeting Grandma, or Mah Mah, in Cantonese. Mah Mah doesn't speak any English, but I feel like I already knew her based on similarities with my own grandma. For instance, she insisted that I eat more, then insisted that she pay for lunch. Of course, we went to this place for both meals that day because Mah Mah gets a really good discount there:And who doesn't love a good respaurant? Here we are waiting for our table. I'm not sure Mah Mah knew where to look:After dinner, we went back to Mah Mah's house to play Mah Johng. She had to help me a lot, much like my grandma helps with Wist. I don't think she ever understood me when I spoke Cantonese to her until during the game when I told her she was very smart, she smiled and laughed.

Despite it being way past her bedtime, Mah Mah also insisted that she make a traditional Chinese dessert soup for us. The similarities really never stop. Here she is with another friend of Mark, Phoebe, and the soup:
We all went for a walk on the beach and found a message in a bottle. That may sound cool, but if you can read this, you'll see that the sender set it out to sea on March 20, 2009, or 8 days before we found it. lame.

We went to Mah Mah's house to collect our personal items and headed to the ferry. The time was 11:50pm, the last ferry was at 11:45pm. The next ferry would be at 2:20am. So we went back to Mah Mah's house. I slept and they woke me up at 2:30---

"Wasn't the ferry at 2:20?"

"Yes, but we'll just get the next one, it's at 3-something."

We go to the pier and the gates are closed...the next ferry will depart at 5:10.

Back to Mah Mah's house again...

We all made it on the 5:10 ferry and I arrived at home around 6:30am to judgemental looks from the doormen.

Somehow, I still made it to church this morning and the ballet "Swan Lake" in the afternoon.

But, before the ballet, my friend Meagan suggested that I take a picture with the East Asian Games mascots:

Good thing I did, because I found this gem:

Antiquity to TV

2009-03-22T21:55:00.003+08:00

Romain and I finally rejoined forces at a mutual friend's birthday party--and that matters to you because he returned my camera and now you can enjoy breath-taking photographs of Asia's "world city." A couple of weeks ago, Romain and I went on an adventure involving the Light Rail. I had heard horror stories about the Light Rail. These stories involved train cars packed so tightly that people get squeezed out of them and fall out onto the track. All false accusations; I must have confused it with trains in India. Our peregrinations led us to the far western reaches of the New Territories--uncharted waters for both of us. Fortunately, Romain is excellent at reading maps:We went to a unique Buddhist temple--one with an internal courtyard. And circular doorways:

The main event of the trip was to see this pagoda, which we circa date to 1300, making it the oldest pagoda in Hong Kong:

And Devon, don't worry, I have done something about that hair.

We somehow ended up walking around through narrow alleys with entrances to people's homes. Many people post these kinds of images on their doors. Romain usually isn't there:

These look like flowers, but they're actually pink leaves--amazing! :

Farther down the road, we came across a small temple with various porcelain figurines displayed out front. If we had been bad people, we easily could have stolen them.

Fast-forward to today--filming day for my students' TV debut. The glamorous TVB bus picked us up in high-fashion:

I'm in the back with Kiki, our intern, Matthew, Anson, Leona, Jamie, and the inimitable Enoch, who, as my family would say, is the dominant character of this picture. They interviewed the students in Cantonese and then Anson and Leona performed. I hadn't been involved in any sort of television production before, unless you count the time that meteorologist Gus Gordon came to my 5th grade class, talked about the weather, and then took a video of us waving. I'm sure my head was covered with that day's high temperature anyway. So I was pretty excited to witness the magic of television. I was too cool to notice all the minor celebrities walking around or take a lot of photos, but I got one on-set picture for the records. Leona, Jamie, and Anson:

I think they use that set for a children's show. Hong Kong, the definition of understatement. For the next 2 weeks, we have at least 1 show per day, so don't expect anything cool in the near future. However, I will be going to my favorite island to visit Elvis' grandma next week. The anticipation is overwhelming.

Brush with Fame

2009-03-16T09:54:00.002+08:00

I still don't have my camera--turns out that the schedules of an actress and a French banker are difficult to mesh.
Despite the lack of photos, I must relate this story: a group of us went to Mong Kok this weekend for dinner and karaoke. As we were walking in the packed streets, I hear, "Penguin! Penguin!" Two girls stop me, "You're the penguin!"
"Yes, yes I am."
"We're from the ----- school!"
"Of course, I remember you." = Lie. But I did remember the school.
I never would have pegged these two as secondary school students. They were dressed like ladies of the night (is that politically correct terminology?) and had more make-up on their faces than I have in my room. Last time I saw them, they were probably wearing matching over-sized sweaters, plaid skirts, and tall white socks. Lovely students, really.
But the point is that my fame as the penguin is spreading. The message of environmental protection, through the penguin, is reaching out to Hong Kong students, and making a deep enough impression to cause them to approach the fish-bird.

Also, a Hong Kong TV station wants to air a scene from the high school musical I've been working on. Matthew, the head director, chose the scene/song that I directed!! My students will be on TV next Sunday; I hope to go with them for moral support. They have worked so hard and absolutely deserve this.

Heartbreak Hotel

2009-03-12T23:13:00.002+08:00

Recently, we've added a lovely and talented young lady from London to our studio staff. I have the opportunity to assistant direct under her for the educational musical drama, "School House Rock, Live!" I use the words "educational," "musical," and "drama" with utmost sarcasm. However, I'm looking forward to working with her. At our first rehearsal last week, Sarah had to deal with some sort of bureaucratic issue and left me alone with our 15 little angels--all under age 10. Like anyone would, I decided I should reveal to them the splendor of the noun. We spent a good 15 minutes naming off all sorts of different nouns and scorning all verbs and adjectives. I counted it as a success.
When Sarah returned, she wanted to start teaching the song which we decided to do with a country-western theme. She asked, "What is a cowboy?" To which one astute student replied, "A noun!"
Sarah glanced at me quizzically, I shrugged, and the show went on.
I've also started ADing for "Seussical--the Musical" under the venerable Mr. Matthew. These songs haunt me. My life is beginning to rhyme all the time. gah!
No pictures--and this is not because I haven't been anywhere. au contraire. I went way out west with my good friend, Romain. We saw HK's oldest pagoda, ca 1300, unique temples, ancestral halls, etc. We also ate at a NEM place. No English Menu. My Canto is actually good enough now that I can become friends with restaurant staff and not worry that they'll serve me squid brain as a joke. BUT, Romain accidentally kept my camera and therefore all of the pictures. I'll probably get my camera back soon, unless he's actually a klepto and then I'll never see him nor the camera again.
I have about 4 days off in April and plan on travelling--having a hard time deciding where to go, so I'm open for suggestions: Beijing/Nanking/Sherzjazwan---Vietnam---Taiwan--Chengdu--Cambodia--Guam--S. Korea--Rwanda. I think I'll nix Rwanda because I'd spend over 2 days in travel and I'll nix S. Korea because they're throwing 'satellites' in the space. Obviously, Devon wants me to go to Malaysia and buy glasses. Not sure a Seinfeld joke is *quite* worth it. Yes, I said it.
Many of you have inquired about Elvis. Sarah does almost daily:
S: "So what's the word on Elvis? Do we talk about him?"
I haven't heard from him in a while, so...
me: "He ain't nothin' but a hound dog."
S: "As long as you're not cryin' all the time."

Tai Tam Hike & Road Runner

2009-03-05T08:55:00.007+08:00

My excuse for not writing much last post was an upcoming hike. I soon shall reveal photographic evidence of said hike, but first, my new friend, Plato, with his creation: me (in Cantonese): What's your name?

P: Plato.

me: As in...The Republic?

P: Yes, yes, the Republic! The Republic!

I think it's a great idea for people to name themselves--since doing the interactive show where I brief a group of 10-15 students and get to know their names--I've met Money, Ghost, Chicken, Uncle Leung--

me: Uh..."Uncle" Leung...is that really your name?

UL: Yes, yes, of course.

me: Can you do that?

UL: Why not?

Me (to other students): Is that his real name?

everyone concurred...

I also met a Kinky. Not to mention old forgotten favorites such as Oscar and Agnes.

But enough of that...back to the hike. Karen (my usual hiking partner) and I planned to go on a fairly difficult hike. Turned out, I invited my friend Lawrence and his cousin to go with us and they had never been on a hike. We still dragged them along for "The Twins" or "The Thousand Steps". It's been foggy/smoggy lately, as you can see---here's a view of Stanley, our final destination after 4 hours--on the south side of HK Island:

Karen, looking pensive in the glorious hills:

The World-Famous Tai Tam Reservoir! Jealous? : The view directly behind me: May and Lawrence. May is visiting from Manchester and Lawrence is my grocery store friend. He's from Northern Ireland. I asked if it were dangerous growing up there and he gave me the same look and response I gave to the kid who asked if I had an AK47. :

It's a sign! :

Probably my favorite discovery during the hike; here we have the "Trigonometrical Station". They urged us not to deface or destroy it:

on the rocks:
I think this is a view backwards to the first peak from the second one. "The Twins" says it all:

I had dinner with Elvis the other night. He's not dead, after all. And he's also Chinese. And speaks French. He's a magician, juggler, and in marketing. You know, on top of being the King of Rock 'n Roll.

At the last juggling night, I went up to my friend, Joker, to tell him about it.

"Hey, Joker, I went to dinner with Elvis."

"I know."

"What? How could you know that?"

"There are no secrets in The Club."

I haven't drunk any Kool-Aid...I don't think.

Elvis' real name is Mark, but his hairstyle is much akin to that of Mr. Presley. And he often wears white pants.

Welcome to the Jungle

2009-03-02T11:38:00.004+08:00

After 4 months of rehearsal, we finally put up both productions of "The Jungle Book" to packed houses. Packed with mostly parents, probably, but packed nonetheless. I spent 12 hours at the theatre, rehearsing with the first group, eating lunch with them, their performance, and then as the first group did curtain call, the second group was ready to start their rehearsals and the entire process again...My jobs for the day were eclectic---helping change costumes, put on make-up, gently reminding the students of the importance of being quiet backstage, and generally keeping the peace. I don't have a lot of time right now; I'm leaving for a hike soon, so I'll just plaster this with photos and do another blog later.

I made those ears. And the tail you can't see...

Shere Khan the tiger! He was epic.

Tiger again and Bagheera the panther. I also made those ears.

Father Wolf. also played a mean elephant.

First group cast.

The other cast's tiger--mildly camera shy.

Coconut tree and butterfly

One of my favorite costumes--the rock.

He won best actor as voted on by the students. There are no small parts.

The other Bagheera and her sister as the flower--I made that pink thing, too. My talents never cease, eh?

Quick thing...

As I was at the train station after the shows, an older looking Indian guy came up to me and the following conversation ensued:

guy: Which way to Lan Kwai Fong?

me: exit D, turn left

guy: where are you from, anyway?

me: US, you?

guy: *unintelligible*

me: um...Uganda?

guy: No! UK London!

me: okay, sorry.

guy: You know, I really like Microsoft.

me: hmm

guy: You know why?

me: no

guy: Because I'm a big fan of Monica Lewinski.

This was the moment I fled.

This doesn't make sense, right? Or am I out of the loop? Am I not perverted enough to get Monica Lewinski jokes?

Also, I think I'm starting to look a bit Chinese. Today, a lady at my gym asked me (in Cantonese) if I were mixed. I can't be sure but I think I accidentally told her that my dad was Chinese. OR I may have agreed to wear a puffy shirt.

Proud to be an American

2009-02-23T17:04:00.002+08:00

No pictures again. I hope to go somewhere photo-worthy before next post. Work has been a bit overwhelming. I've been covering rehearsals for absent teachers on top of our now usual 4 shows/week.
We also had another "Pearly Gates" last week. Last time, we were at a boy scout camp--this time we were inside a school gymnasium. Ah, the glamour.
One student asked me where I was from and when I said "may gwok" (yeah, USA, I don't lie about that anymore) he said, "Really? como estas?" Muy muy bien. Apparently, he told another boy that I was American because he came up to me:
"You are American?"
"Yes."
"Do you have an AK47?"
"What? No."
"Oh, so you have a rifle? Maybe just a bebe gun?"
"No."
"Paint-ball gun??"

So, my fellow Americans, this is our image. Who do we thank?
a. Hollywood
b. George W. Bush
c. William H. Macy (guess he's part of Hollywood, but whatever)
d. all of the above
e. none of the above (you must provide an answer if you choose e.)

French Trees

2009-02-18T11:17:00.003+08:00

This makes no sense, I'm well aware, but sometimes I confuse Chinese and French. It's as if my brain knows I can't speak my native language, so it automatically switches to my next most fluent tongue--le francais. Usually, this stays internal and I avoid actually speaking French to Chinese people. Until yesterday.

I had a Cantonese lesson yesterday, and I arrived about 20 minutes early. As the entire office chaotically bustled about trying to find my teacher, stressed at my early arrival, I attempted to calm them by saying in Chinese, "It's okay, I'm very early today."
Problem was, instead of saying the Chinese word for early, "jo"--I said the French word for early, "toe".
If only 'toe' meant nothing in Chinese...
As everyone was stressfully milling about, I kept saying, "It's okay, I'm a forest! I'm very much a forest today."

Dopey

2009-02-16T14:18:00.003+08:00

I love rocks.

Also trying out a new format for the photos on here. I'm so adventurous.

These were some of my fellow clowns in the Chinese New Year parade. Notice the guy in the center. He does the English voice-overs for all Japanese cartoons exported to the U.S., Australia, U.K., etc. In other words, he's a legend in the eyes American pre-teens with social disorders.

Can someone, anyone, explain this? Please. Before, it was WARM GAGS, as if they're for sale. Now, we mustn't have any gag at all.

I'm sure Devon has an insight on this.

I really like the lions. I want to be one when I grow up. So does Japanimation voice guy. I told him I'll be his butt someday.

Okay, so all these pictures are old-ish. I did take a dazzling photo of the moon recently because they said that it was the roundest it had been in 50 years. I'm so wild.

Went to hear Chick Corea play last week--great show, but I definitely enjoyed him better in the jazz club setting rather than the concert hall. I did, however, meet a Chinese Chicagoan hard be-bop guitarist as I waited for the band at the backstage door. In addition to be-bopping hard, she works at a school and has already booked my company to do a show there. I really should get a commission.

My Cantonese lessons are GAY HO!! Or, "really good." My instructor told me that I'm the fastest and easiest student she's ever had. I said, "thanks, but don't tell my mom I'm fast and easy." Didn't quite translate...

Work: we've finished the Anti-Internet Piracy show and performed it about 3 times so far. It's great. I feel sort of like part of a propaganda scheme. I'm also in charge of the interactive elements of the show. I brief a group of about 12 students 30 minutes before the show and then terrorize them throughout the drama. The terror consists of asking them questions and putting a microphone in their face.

Valentine's Day consisted of a Jungle Book rehearsal (a few of my students gave me candy and/or crackers), a Listen to Me rehearsal, and a gathering at Vera's house. I made guacamole with avocados (`oww `yoww 'gwa, or "butter fruit") that were difficult to come by and completely unripe, much like single men in Hong Kong.

If you're bored with my blog, check out my dear friend Andy's. He's in Rwanda teaching Biology and English--should be on the sidebar under "recently nomadic."

I'm working on getting my China visa--and possibly try to see Hillary, although I don't think my work schedule will allow for it. Or I'll just wait and see if she can improve diplomatic relations and make it cheaper and easier for me to go to the mainland.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm still without internet and if I stay at this cafe much longer, they might ask me to do dishes or something.