Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Run, Gum Ba, Run

A man stopped me on the street and asked, "Are you dancing?" I thought to myself, "I wish I were dancing," so I said, "Yes." Then the man handed me a flier for a dance studio nearby. The problem is that it was all in Chinese, so I'm afraid I would accidentally go to a ballet class for children under 5.
East Asian Games begin on Saturday. M & D, the swimming and diving events will be held in the park where I made you wait for 4 hours while I worked. Little did you know how close to athletic greatness you were.
Speaking of athletic greatness, I completed my first 10k race on Sunday. Full coverage of the event will appear in an upcoming edition of Jacksonville's The Source newspaper. For the benefit of my readership beyond the circulation of that publication, I will briefly summarize the story.
About 8,000 runners participated in UNICEF's Race for Children. Everyone knows how much I enjoy racing for children--or is that racing away from children? I can never remember. Either way, I did it and give myself 3 stars. One for getting out of bed at 5am. One for not needing medical assistance. And one for not getting thrown in the Slow Van. If you didn't reach a certain point in the race by a certain time, a special van would come by and drive you to the finish line.
At the starting line, in the middle of a huge pack, I talked to my new friend, Michelle about how I planned to come in last place, in order to make everyone else feel better about themselves. She said that coming in last would be impossible, and I shook my head at her disbelief in me. The start of the race was unusual. Michelle is a beauty consultant, so I tried to consult her. As the starting horn sounded, we were talking about how I should permanently darken my eyelashes to eliminate the need for mascara. Also near the start, Goofy was off to the side. Hundreds of runners took the opportunity for a photo-op. Many runners took photos throughout the race, which seemed ridiculous to me, but I'm not a serious runner. I can't even hydrate properly. You're supposed to hurl the water into your mouth and throw the cup down on the street like you're too cool for trash cans. I've never been too cool for a can. This is really standing between me and a serious career in running. That and motivation. I also need to interject that there was a runner dressed as Santa Claus.
After the race, feeling exhilarated, Michelle, Derek and I:

The Mother and Paloma, you may remember Derek as the guitar player from the wine bar. He's multi-talented and finished the 10k with a very fast time.

In other news, Tom Sawyer opens in one week. It's going to be miraculous!
Tickets to South Dakota and NYC have been booked. We have our first Movie Show in 2 weeks. I've founded a book club with my friend Patrick, but we don't want to invite other people into it because we assume then they would want to choose books and it might get ugly like on The View. Also reading Henry James' Washington Square concurrently with The, Dad. We call it The Dork Olympics. Other family members may or may not choose to participate in the events, which include weekly discussions/debriefings and dictionary searches for unknown vocabulary.
I don't know how anyone would NOT want to participate.

10 comments:

The Classic Harpist said...

I thought we were keeping the Dork Olympics underground so as to preserve our obvious coolness to the outside world. Thanks a lot. Next you're going to tell everyone that I drive a minivan.

For the benefit of your readers who do not know the 'rents, you might want to say that they were "in the vicinity" of athletic greatness. We wouldn't want anyone to break a hip.

For your next 10K, you clearly need a costume. You could go as the whole cast of The View, or maybe an inflatable cucumber with fins. Mother?

Anonymous said...

Costumes are my speciality. Let's have a contest to decide what Camber should wear on her next run. My vote goes to wearing something from GONE WITH THE WIND. Love, Mom

Camber Carpenter said...

The Mother--are you saying I look winded? Or wind-blown?

Yes, if I go as the entire cast of The View, then I'll have Joan Rivers' face on the back of my head. I would totally psych out all the competition.

OH! I viewed the official results of the race and I finished 603rd place in my division of women aged 20-34! But really, we're all winners.

Anonymous said...

What's this "The View" thing everyone is talking about?

If you wear someone's face on the back of your head, you would, of course, psych out only those runners who are behind you. Are you being a braggy show by suggesting that you would psych out ALL of your competition?

And how many competitors were there in your division? If there were 8000, I am impressed: if there were 605, then my celebration will be more restrained.

The,

Dad.

Anonymous said...

What's this "The View" thing everyone is talking about?

If you wear someone's face on the back of your head, that would, of course, psych out only the competitors who are behind you. Are you being a braggy show by suggesting that you would psych out ALL the competition?

How many were in your division? If there were 8000, then I am very impressed. If there were 605, then my celebration will be more restrained.

The,

Dad.

Caitlin Rose said...

I believe the next costume should be Dakota Fanning. I watched a really terrible movie called PUSH with her in it, but it was set in Hong Kong so I thought of you the whole time. You would have to become shorter, though, so maybe squirrel would be more appropriate. I got a package from Dr. and Donna Burns today with a penguin Christmas ornament in it, also making me think of you! Nice job running, btdubs! love, C

Camber Carpenter said...

Thanks, C!
Thanks for thinking of me during bad movies.

The, Dad: So that you may better gauge the level of your celebration, I placed at 3,425th out of 4,374 overall. In my category, I placed 603rd out of 900 something. Let the party begin.

Anonymous said...

It is astonishing to me that such unathletic parents as you have could have spawned a creature with your prowess in sports. My heartfelt congratulations on your being in such
proximity of finishing within the top 2/3 of your category. I am so proud.

The,

Dad.

MJ said...

Well, I have nothing witty to say, except go Camber for running in a 10K! I'm still shooting for the 2 mile mark....and sadly keep missing.

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